if love could be easy
by pennfan24
Summary: its a more angst-ridden story than a romantic one, about Dan and Blair, its about them finding their way back to each other despite the hurdles along the way. it will have all the other characters as well, with Serena in a big role.
1. if love could be easy

If love could be easy

I don't own gossip girl or any of the GG characters

(This takes place after season 4 but Blair doesn't get married to the prince and does not end up getting back with chuck either. Instead she starts seeing Dan, but it doesn't last long. It's a story of them being together and away from each other. It's more angst-ridden than romantic. The story will have all the other characters as well, with Serena playing an important role. )

Blair Waldorf couldn't believe that after everything that had happened, she was here of all the places in the world. She could have gone anywhere tonight as she wanted to hide from the world and she knew this was the right place. She had to be here tonight, she needed it but does she need him?

She had to do this, although she doesn't know why and even if she did, it would be against Blair waldorf's nature to accept it, after all she is and will always be the queen of denial!

That very second, someone breaks her chain of thought and she looks up to see "Dan Humphrey" holding two cups of coffee in his hands. He hands one to her and sits down on the other end of the sofa. She realizes that he's very consciously trying to maintain the distance between them. She almost chuckles at that thought, because she knows that deep down he just wants to close all the distance between them and kiss her. But he would never do that, well because he's Dan Humphrey and not Chuck Bass.

He sits there in silence, not really silence if you count the ummms and the hmmms he does; it's like he's fighting himself to say the right words to her. He is at the same time trying really hard to unravel why she is here out of all the places in the world, 3 days before her wedding and ring-less. He wants to ask her so much, like "why's she here" to begin with and "did she end her engagement" and "Why did she do it" and "why didn't she go back to chuck and most importantly, why is she here with him?"

It's almost as if Blair can read him and figure out all the questions he wants to ask her. But Blair Waldorf doesn't answer to anybody and she certainly is not going to answer Dan Humphrey's questions. So she tells him "thanks for the coffee Humphrey and don't bother asking me anything, coz I'm not going to answer any of them right now".

Dan is taken aback because at that moment he realizes his face must have been giving everything away. He wonders for a minute whether with all the puzzles in his head, his facial expressions looked liked Nate's when Nate is confused (or natefused) and he smiles at that thought. But he realizes that Blair waldorf is staring at him with her big somehow empty doe eyes. She must really be convinced that he's gone bonkers, Coz she's been here for an hour and he hasn't been able to go beyond hmmms and ummms and then the "NATE" look and now he was smiling, Wow, that's so not like him. He never remembers a time when he fell short of words and well right now he'd been acting like a mute. So he musters up his spirits and asks her if she'd like some more coffee.

She hands him her cup for a refill, he refills it and hands it back to her and then they begin talking. They don't touch a subject that would make either of them uncomfortable. They don't discuss Blair's broken engagement or chuck and they don't bring up Dan's bestseller "Inside" (which unfortunately has thrown him more on the outs with his friends and family than he could have imagined). And most of all they don't discuss why she is here; they don't discuss Dan and Blair because those two words should never be uttered together in a sentence.

They instead watch all of Blair's favorite movies like "the nights of cabria" followed by "breakfast at tiffany's". So in exchange they order Dan's favorite pizza for dinner. They agree it's fair to do so and as Dan reminds her, he's her friend and peer and not her underling. So they have to compromise and adjust. But the truth is both of them don't mind the pizza or the movies, but then not battering with each other would not feel normal for them.

After 2 hours past midnight, Dan realizes that Blair has in fact dozed off on his shoulder; after they had finished watching "gone with the wind". He picks her up and takes her to his bedroom. He places her gently on his bed and covers her with a blanket. As he turns to leave the room, Blair catches his hand from behind and tells him, "just needed a friend Humphrey! Please be that for me! I need u!"

Dan sits down on the bed, lowers his face down and whispers to her, "don't worry waldorf, and am here for you." Blair looks up at him and smiles and she knows she made the right decision to be here today. With Dan, she doesn't have to answer the myriad questions that will be thrown at her tomorrow, by her mother, her father, Cyrus, Serena and Chuck. And Louis, what will she tell him? How will she tell him? She doesn't want to think of that, not now, it's too painful, because Blair knows what she had done but she didn't want to accept it just yet as she needs time.

She likes being here with him, she just feels light when she's around him; she feels both like a girl and a woman. She feels alive, he feels 20 again (She is 20, but she feels so old otherwise) and he's a good friend, he cares for her or maybe even more and what does she feel? No she can't think of any of those things now, it's not the time. She will fight it because right now she wants to sleep and she clutches his hand more tightly as she feels safe, cared for and protected and she likes it. She drifts off to sleep with a silent smile on her face.

Dan sits by Blair, but he doesn't know for how long, just watching her sleep; but when he starts to get uncomfortable sitting on the bed because his hand is clutched tightly between hers, he realizes he can't watch her anymore. He doesn't want to create any more complications in Blair's life. She wants him as a friend and he'll be there for her as one. He won't think about anything more, he tells himself. he can't think about how mesmerizingly beautiful she was, how her eyes, were the mirror into her soul at times and sometimes they would just shut down such that nobody could trace anything in them. How much he wanted to kiss her in that moment and how much he wanted her. These thoughts shuddered Dan and he hastily shook off his hands from her grasp and bolted out of the door!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next few weeks go by quickly. Dan realizes that he hasn't heard from Blair in 19 days( yeah he's pathetic enough to count the days now) but he hasn't called or tried to get in touch with Blair either, because he knows that Blair will find him when she feels is the right time. Because if there is one thing he knows about Blair Waldorf is if you push hard, she pushes twice as much.

Dan just wants to give her time. He knows she's had a lot to deal with in the last 2-3 weeks. He's heard it from Serena, from Eric, from Nate, from basically every paper in the city. A broken royal engagement obviously makes for the most interesting news item for the tabloids. And he knows there's a lot of discussion and gossip, some very malicious gossip about the calling off of the engagement. But no one knows the truth. He wonders what really happened. Because he knows that, 2 months ago Blair couldn't have been happier with her fairy tale. He knew she was happy and it broke his heart that it was with someone else, because he felt so much for her, but he didn't hold it against her because, she had not a clue about his feelings and didn't reciprocate more than friendship.

But what had happened suddenly that had made Blair change her mind, so much so that she decided to call the whole thing off. It couldn't have been Louis's fault because even if Dan thought that the prince was kind of too weak and boring for Blair Waldorf, he loved her and respected her and would do nothing to hurt Blair. (Dan was so grateful for that because he thought that Blair had had enough of pain for one lifetime).

So then was it something to do with Chuck. I mean Dan was no fool, he knew the incessant knot between Chuck and Blair that would pull them together, all the time. But he thought that Chuck and Blair had bid each other the final goodbye, before the holidays, when Blair had gone to Monaco with her prince. But then he wonders, if there really could be an end to something like Chuck and Blair and Blair and Chuck? Wasn't there relationship interminable types? But if it was why Blair hadn't gone back to Chuck already. In fact if one thing he knew for sure was, that Blair hadn't seen Chuck since the end of her engagement.

He was thoroughly confused. A flicker of hope inside him supposed that maybe it was because of him? Maybe, he could have been more than a friend to her? He pushed the thought away as soon as it came to his head, because he didn't want any preposterous thoughts in his head right now. He had a lot to deal with anyway; he was still making amends for writing "Inside". He was still trying to salvage his relationships with everybody who mattered to him.

Most of them had come around and forgiven him. His dad, lily, Eric and Nate had been comparatively easy. With Serena, he was still making apologies, but he knew it was Serena and she'd come around sooner or later, at least now she was talking to him. Jenny had been hard; she hated him right now for portraying her as a little girl who loses herself in the Upper East Side. Jenny felt she deserved more than that, but jenny was his sister, no matter how mad she got, she would always be there. Chuck was someone Dan hadn't even bothered to apologize to and chuck had dismissed Dan's book as some lame loser's attempt at a third class description of the Upper East Side. With Blair, well they hadn't mentioned the book, he didn't have the courage to and he wondered if she'd paid any attention to it with so much going on in her life.

But "Inside" had done well, in fact exceedingly well. Dan had never hoped that he'd be met with so much success at such a young age. It was in the top ten on the international bestsellers' list and had debuted as no.1 on the New York Times bestseller list. He was even getting nominated for the young writers and debut awards. After he had come out as the author of the book, he had been going through turmoil of emotions. On one hand, he was proud of his success as this was like his dream that had come alive. At just 21, he was a published author with a novel which had sold more than 5 million copies. But on the other hand, he felt guilty that he had betrayed everybody who had meant something to him. Thus his success felt bittersweet because his friends and family weren't a part of it.

Dan's train of thought was disturbed by the knock on his loft door. He moved rather slowly, towards the door because it was still morning and he was sure it would have been his dad, wanting to drag him along to get some Brooklyn coffee and sandwiches; or worse, Nate to drag him to a football game in which he had no interest. He opened the door and to his utter shock, he saw Blair Waldorf standing in his doorway. She looked at him with menacing eyes and pushed him to the side, walking in with such confidence as if she owned the place. But that was Blair Waldorf.

Dan was barely able to overcome his shock on seeing her, but he was cut off by Blair's snarky remark, "Humphrey I know you get tongue-tied each time you see me at your door, but I prefer you playing over smart and annoying than dumb and mute".

Dan left out a small laugh, he knew that Blair Waldorf was back, "well Blair forgive me, but I don't get too many unannounced visitors here and this is the third or the fourth time you're doing it now; I mean you know you should really check with me before, because you know now I might be busy and stuff, since you know iam a published author n all that and I have book tours and readings and other stuff".

He was once again cut by Blair, "see there, you do exactly as I say, over smart and annoying. Anyways by now you should have offered me coffee. But I guess etiquettes are not a big thing in Brooklyn."

Dan smiled at her and said, "right away princess". As the words passed his mouth, he realized that he had unintentionally hurt Blair, because he could see the glimpses of pain and embarrassment on her face.

He turned to face her and before he could utter "sorry" out of his mouth, Blair had slumped into the couch and was crying. Dan felt angry at himself for having said that word, because it had triggered Blair to cry. She had obviously come here to forget all those things, hide from those feelings and escape all of it for time being, but Dan had stupidly unthinkingly brought that word which had forced Blair to face the pain again.

Dan approached Blair slowly and sat down next to her and very quietly put his hand on hers, gesturing to her that he understands and that he's here and that he's sorry. Blair unlike the last time didn't withdraw her hand from under his but clung to it more tightly and turned towards him.

Trying to hold her tears back, Blair said, "Dan, I think iam ready to talk about it all…I don't know how longer I can deny it…run away from all of it…but it's just that there's so much…that I don't if you and I can ever come out of this".

Dan was taken aback by her last statement, in his head he knew this meant something, something far more than he had ever thought possible, something more, but he wanted confirmation, he wanted clarity from her.

Seeing Dan smile, Blair knew maybe he'd hold her and she'd be able to sail through this but she knew Dan wasn't that forgiving and would he still want the mess that she had become after what she was going to tell him. But she had to do it, coz she couldn't live under this cloud of lies. Those lies had eaten away her relationship with Louis and she didn't want this to happen with Dan, she couldn't live with Dan hating her too.

Blair told him everything about how she was scared of being with him, because the kiss between them had been life-changing for her, because for the first time in years she had felt that she had a shot at happiness with someone else, but she was scared, because he was Dan…Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn, half a part of the serena-Dan saga of love and jenny Humphrey's brother.

Everything they stood for separated them, it was revolting enough to be friends with him and anything more than that was simply impossible; so she went back to Chuck, Chuck felt safe, it was a tried and tested choice and she didn't have to be scared with Chuck, and after all they were Blair and Chuck and Chuck and Blair, but she realized that chuck hadn't matured, never might, and at that moment Louis reentered her life.

It was all too magical too fairy tale like and she was swept in that magic. she had always wanted to be a princess and she had a chance at it, so she pushed all thoughts aside and lived her dream but she knew it was a dream, only a dream and kissing him again, at the pink party and later being interrogated by serena, had only made her realize that she was fighting her feelings and she didn't want to do it, because she could go back to Chuck but not to Dan Humphrey; and that's exactly what she did, she slept with Chuck and she was going to end everything with Louis then, but Chuck convinced her that Louis would give her the happiness that he never could have.

She went on and on, never once looking up at Dan, because she didn't want to see the disapproval and disgust in his eyes. She had seen too many of those eyes by now, she didn't want to see that dejection in his eyes as well.

She told him how two months in Monaco made her feel lonely and sad…while Louis loved her and treated her well, she didn't like his family, she hated his mother and sister and they hated her. But more than this she knew she wasn't happy being there, it didn't feel right and then she came to New York, hung out with you again.

"You made me feel light and young, full of life and I realized I never wanted to get married at 20, I wanted to become something on my own and not just somebody's wife, even if it was a prince and it didn't feel right, because I didn't love Louis, I hadn't been honest with him and I had betrayed him. I had been unfaithful to him, all because I could live my fairy-tale. So I decided that I couldn't do this anymore and I wrote him a letter that day and I left. I couldn't tell him about everything. I couldn't tell him about Chuck because that would have crushed him, so I told him that I couldn't do it because I wasn't ready and may never ready to be a princess, at least not his princess. I know you hate me too as well now, well everyone seems to be doing that right now. You'll just be another name on that list."

Blair finally looked up at Dan and it was like Dan's face was white washed. He sat there expressionless and motionless, he only moved when Blair nudged him. He just looked at Blair and said, with an expression of hurt and something more that Blair couldn't quite read on his face, "iam sorry Blair….that you hurt so much."

After a brief pause he added, "and no Blair I don't hate you, I couldn't even if I tried, I won't lie to you knowing all of this about your total repulsion for liking me and you sleeping with Chuck and everything else hurt me, hurt me so much but not enough to make me hate you because the last few months. I have just liked you so much, that I don't know."

Before he could finish his sentence, Blair had put her mouth on his, shutting him up and they were kissing; but it wasn't a kiss of love or of desperation, of lust, rather it was a kiss of forgiveness and apologies and a deep longing for each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been three months since Blair's broken engagement and she had spent most of her time in Brooklyn for those months. She didn't feel like going back to her penthouse much, Serena wasn't really there anymore as she had decided to stay in LA for a little longer; because she felt that she had realized her calling in films, she liked assisting in movies, it made her feel purposeful or whatever else she felt.

Blair hadn't really paid much attention to Serena's blabbing about her job because this like the other things in Serena's life would be a passing fancy and Blair had just too much else to deal with. The other reason she didn't want to be at the penthouse so much, because her mother was home more often and she still hadn't stopped pestering her about her decision to leave Louis, because her mother couldn't gape why Blair would just throw away her fairy tale.

And most importantly there was another reason to stay in Brooklyn, Dan Humphrey, staying with Dan made her blissfully happy, content and peaceful, things that Blair Waldorf didn't know and she knew he really liked her. He cared for her in a way that nobody had before, he felt like her equal, he engaged her, intellectually and emotionally. Being with him she felt a sense of security that she felt she would never ever know in life.

She liked him, she really did, maybe it was even more than that but she didn't want to label what she had with him just yet. She knew their relationship would be nothing short of complicated and not just because they were 2 completely different worlds who had a divergent world view but because of the many people in their lives. Blair was happy that Dan had agreed to take things as they came and not rush into things but lately Blair felt that Dan wanted something more, maybe he wanted them to be official.

Dan and Blair had spent most of their time watching movies, reading books, visiting art galleries and the like. Blair avoided most Upper East Side events of late and she felt that after so long in her life, she had been finally able to escape the gossip girl radar. Gossip Girl had declared Blair Waldorf as a faded princess and Blair for once was happy with that. She didn't have to uphold an image of herself all the time for the world to see. She could just be a 20 year old normal girl with a drama free life for once, things were simpler like this, no controversies, no take downs, no scheming and no social pressure, although she knew she couldn't continue this for long as, for sooner or later Blair would have to go back and deal with her life, but she wasn't ready at least not yet.

Blair and Dan had entered into an unspoken, unconfirmed and undeclared relationship with each other. They were in fact practically living together but Blair had put a fatwa on Dan on discussing his feelings, but she didn't need to hear the words from him to know how he felt for her. He took note of the tiniest things she said, when he held her close, he made her feel that he would always protect her and shield her away from all the pain in the world; and when he made love to her, he made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and Blair felt light, she felt so much happiness just being around him, that it drowned out any other thoughts that ever entered her head, it was almost magical being with him.

Despite everything she felt, Blair wasn't ready to flaunt this relationship with Dan publicly, at least she wasn't as of now. This was the only thing that caused a tiff between the two; Dan often felt that Blair wasn't ready because she would be embarrassed of him. Blair always reasoned out that might have been true earlier but it wasn't so now because Dan was her friend and he was more upper east side than he cared to admit and now that he was a famous published author, be so being his girlfriend would only be a plus for Blair, but she felt it was too early and more importantly she felt scared, because once everybody knew, there would be a pressure on Blair to make things work.

Gossip Girl would chronicle every little aspect of her relationship, people would diagnose and dissect every action of theirs and she didn't even want to think of reactions of her friends and family. Serena would be beyond furious and she feared losing Serena because Dan wasn't just another guy in Serena's life, he was her first love, someone she kept coming back to and Chuck would just hate her more and he'd do things to hurt Dan and Jenny, she was Dan's sister and she probably hated no one more than Blair, she probably would never speak to Dan if he were to be with her. Rufus wasn't too fond of Blair either and her mother would probably blame Humphrey for her broken engagement. There was just too much at stake, too much to lose, although her heart kept screaming out to her, that being Dan was worth risking all this.

She realized if Dan could put everything on line for her, she could do the same for him. Dan had just as much to lose from this relationship as had she but he was willing to give it a shot and if he wanted them to be official that kind of meant he must really like her and this made her only more ecstatic. She made up her mind, that Dan was worth the risk, in fact, he was far more worthy than that but she wanted to tell Serena first by herself because she couldn't lose Serena. She had to make her understand that without wanting it to happen she too fell for the same guy Serena had been in love with for so long. She hoped Serena would understand, because Serena didn't seem to have feelings for Dan anymore and that Blair was truly happy with Dan. She was going to tell Serena everything when she came back that weekend, she felt like a bundle of nerves but she felt elated as well, because she could finally come out of hiding and admit to the world that she was she was truly happy and blissfully lucky to be with Dan Humphrey.

Note:( this chapter was a bit rushed because I want to focus on the story development as of now and I want to come back to the events of these three months in flashback later in the story if all goes according to the plan. I know that I keep running from 1st person account to third person…am really sorry for that…but my chain of thought runs so erratically that I can't help it…I am trying to give the story the direction that I have in my head…but I guess…it's not becoming clear as of now…but it ll probably become clearer after the next 2 chapters… I know its shoddy work…I don't even know if any of you are actually reading the story… if you are just lemme know…that would mean a lot…)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Blair couldn't deal with it anymore. Serena's visit had shattered Blair all over again. She couldn't fathom why something like this would happen to her all over again. Why did everything always have to go wrong in her life? She felt like she was some part of Greek tragedy, maybe it wasn't really her fault, maybe she was just structured that way that she would claim everything that never belonged to her in the first place.

Nate was never hers to claim because Serena had held his heart for however long she could remember. She was only able to claim the Queen B status in Constance because Serena wasn't interested in it. Then Chuck, she wanted to claim him as hers, but their end had been only devastating and now the story came back to haunt her once again. Dan wasn't hers, could never be, how she could be so stupid to think that he could belong to anybody, (especially to her) because he was Serena's, always was and always would be and Serena was his. They were the epic story, not her and Chuck. It was Serena and Dan, even their names sounded perfect together, Dan and Blair didn't just have the same ring to it.

Blair tried not to think about her earlier conversation with her and just kept wondering if she had spoken first, only if she hadn't been that scared, maybe things would have been different. She kept going back to that conversation again and again in her head; she had never seen Serena so happy and so sure of herself. Serena never had that kind of conviction about anything but Serena was so sure this time, 5 months away from home by herself living a real life doing things that challenged Serena and gave her purpose in life had also made her realize the most important thing in life, but Serena's words kept coming back to Blair again and again like a haunting.

Blair could remember the exact words that had blown apart Blair's life once again in a matter of few minutes. They had once again shattered the peace that Blair had found after so long. She could still see an excited nervous and jubilant almost radiant Serena, telling her,

"Blair, I have something very important to share with you, you are the first one am admitting it to, it's almost like iam admitting it for the first time to myself but I have to I just have to tell you because I don't think I can keep this inside of me another day without exploding. "

"Blair you know, I never thought I could be sure of anything in my life, if I would ever find purpose and find something that I would enjoy but I finally have but I realized living by myself the last 5 months that more than anything else that I want this life so much but I don't want this life alone. I don't want to keep skipping from boy to boy in search of the perfect one because I had found him long time ago. I've always thought that I have been in love in all of my relationships but the truth is I don't think I ever fell out of love with Dan. "

"He's been the only one; I have ever wanted to grow old with. he's the only one I have come back to when I have been in a problem or anything else and I thought I only came back to him again and again because he was my friend but no Blair, I was so wrong, Dan's been the only one and I know he's the only one for me. And I think for the first time I'm ready for that sort of commitment because he's the only thing I'm sure of in life."

"You were right Blair my life was sealed in 11th grade when I met Dan, Blair omg, omg, I just took so long to realize it. I mean he's been the only one who's stood by me through everything, believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself and he did that because he loved me, he fought for me all the time. I was just stupid enough to not see it and I hurt him. I hurt him so many times. I made him wait hopelessly for me. I tortured him, plagued him hurt him over and over again but he never gave up on me not even once but I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to him. I just want to tell him, how much I love him, how much I've always loved him, how he's been the only one and how I want him to be the only one. Blair omg, omg, I can't believe I'm actually saying all this. I feel like a 12 year old but I'm just so happy. Blair say something, you look disappointed, why, I thought u liked Dan now, hadn't u guys become friends?"

Blair felt her world crash with each of Serena's words, this wasn't fair, why did Serena have to come swooping in with her blonde lustrous hair and turn her world upside down again. Blair wanted to scream at Serena, hit her and cry and tell her to leave Dan because Blair wanted him more than anything else too but all Blair could manage was a feeble, "are you sure Serena?" while trying her best to hold her tears back.

Serena however, didn't really seem to notice Blair's expressions or her meek voice. it was pretty Serena like to only care about herself and after all this probably was Serena's moment of enlightenment where she had finally figured out that the love of her life had always been around the corner.

Serena continued in an almost surreal delight, "B, am sure I don't even know what that means but I know this is the most sure I can be of something. you know, it's not like I had this thought for two days in my head, it's really been there for very long and I guess it really started when I found about you and Dan having kissed, though I know it didn't mean anything to either of you, it irked me. I hated both of you for it and I couldn't understand why, I mean it's not like I was with Dan and then I saw Dan with Charlie and that hurt too. I couldn't take all of that and I needed to get away. I came to California and I got busy with work, but I couldn't push Dan away from my mind, not for a single minute. "

"Each day my resolve of winning Dan back and having him forever grew stronger and stronger and am back, just hoping that Dan's on the same page with me. I mean we've been in touch, all through the holidays, I think he thinks I hate him or something for his book, although I was a little hurt with my characterization in the book but honestly I think I deserve it for treating him the way I did and I'm really proud of him for writing the book even though he went behind our backs to do it. I just hope he wants me back B, I hope he is ready to give me the one last chance because if he doesn't I don't know what I will do B, I don't think I can live without him anymore .I want him more than anything I've ever wanted in life, I just hope I can get a chance with him one more time because this time I'll never let him go. "

Blair had lost out on rest of Serena's happy blabber about her old memories with Dan and how Dan did this and that for her and blah blah. All she remembered was that Serena left soon after saying that she had to meet her mom and Rufus at the penthouse and that she wanted to plan a surprise for Dan and that she didn't want Dan to know she was back and that she'd be back next morning.

Blair didn't know if one person could feel so many emotions at one time, for right now she felt anger, despair, hatred, jealousy, guilt, betrayal and unrelenting pain; but she knew what she had to do. she couldn't wait around to get her heart broken once again and that too because of Dan. she couldn't let a Dan Humphrey break her, maybe that was only Chuck's prerogative.

She didn't want to come second to Serena and she knew within her, that no matter how Dan felt about her right now and what they had shared over the last few months, she would never match up to Serena. Serena was Dan's princess, his goddess; Blair in fact, had at one time told him this. She wouldn't be able to survive heartbreak; she didn't have it in her anymore. She couldn't believe how she could ever entertain the idea that Dan would chose her over Serena, his Serena.

She thought she must have been inspiring and attractive enough for him to make her one of the protagonists in his novel, after all she did provide for a stark contrast to the other protagonist in the book but that was all fiction. The reality was Blair Waldorf could never hold a candle to Serena Vander Woodsen and least so in Dan Humphrey's heart.

Blair wiped her tears and retouched her makeup. Blair Waldorf didn't believe in defense, she believed in first strikes and that's exactly what she was going to do. It just had to be done, to save so many people, their relationships and most of all save herself from another defeat from Serena. Blair didn't want to suffer heartbreak and she thought its better that it's Dan Humphrey's heart that breaks rather than hers; Because Serena would be there to mend it soon again, because it wouldn't take him any time to run back into her arms once again. She was going to hate herself for what she was going to do next but this was absolutely necessary because she was Blair Waldorf and that's all she knows. If it was going to be a game, it was going to be a damn good one!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dan always believed that there were certain moments that can alter one's life forever to come but he had no idea that they could alter one's life in the worst way imaginable, that they could almost destroy him.

It had been a week that he hadn't heard from Blair, each time he called her, she hadn't answered. She didn't reply to more than 200 of his messages and the 4 times that he had gone to see her, Dorota didn't let him in. He hated Dorota for that bit, but he knew no matter how much Dorota liked him, she owed her allegiance to Blair and Blair alone, but he couldn't fathom why Blair would suddenly cut him out from her life, without a word, without an explanation.

Why, when everything was almost perfect, like a fairytale and blissful, would Blair just withdraw completely? He knew Blair liked him a lot too, why would she do that. He felt it was maybe because he had sort of shown his disappointment on not making them official, if that was the case, then Dan was ready to do anything to make the situation right. if Blair wanted them to be a secret, he didn't mind being her secret forever but he just wanted Blair to talk to him, so he could finally tell her that he's so much in love with her and that he'll do anything to be with her, in any way she'll have him.

With this resolve, he picked up his jacket and walked out of his loft, to catch a cab to see Blair. He didn't care, what he had to do this time to meet Blair, if he had to he'd sneak in through the pipe (ok that was stupid, she lived way too high up, he'd probably die) he didn't care if he had to fight with Dorota or camp outside Blair's building for days. He was going to see her any which way, he was going to make everything alright and tell her how much he loved her already and how she had begun to consume every waking up minute of his life.

That very moment, Dan's phone buzzed, his heart skipped a beat as he assumed it must be a message from Blair, finally acknowledging his 200 msgs or more, or whatever. He was just overwhelmed with excitement but the moment he opened the message, his heart didn't just break, he felt like not only that somebody had ripped his heart out but kicked him in the stomach simultaneously. He felt suddenly nauseous looking at the picture on his phone, as there she was, in all her glory looking regal and ecstatic, enveloped in a passionate kiss with CHUCK BASS, outside her building. Dan couldn't even comprehend the countless thoughts that ran through his head at that moment, all he knew was that he was feeling sick, like something was choking him, making it impossible to breathe and he could feel his eyes moisten.

Dan must have looked much shaken, that even the cab driver turned back and asked him if he was okay. Dan could barely churn out a yaa, "Iam fine". Dan couldn't believe what he was seeing, he knew the Gossip Girl blast was real, but somehow he didn't want to believe it. He wanted to deny what his eyes were seeing, because his heart couldn't and wouldn't believe it. Each moment was getting tougher but he knew that there was something behind that blast. Blair couldn't have just gone back to Chuck, after what they had shared for months, he wasn't ready to believe one ill-timed blast. He wanted to believe his own instincts, that told him that this wasn't true and what he and Blair had in the last few months was very real, far more real than any of this. He wanted answers from Blair and he had to have them now because another minute of this pain could kill him.

The elevator ride up to Blair's penthouse was the longest ride that Dan felt he had ever been on his life. He felt that it almost took him an eternity to reach her penthouse and the moment he stepped foot in her foyer, he saw Blair, looking more beautiful than ever sitting on her comforter very close to the man he detested more than anybody else in the world, Chuck Bass

Dan froze in his place and at that very second, both Blair and Chuck turned to face Dan. He could clearly see scowl, annoyance and victory on Chuck's face, which culminated into a smirk that Dan just wanted to wipe off Chuck's face once and for all; but it wasn't Chuck's scorn that he cared for . He had eyes only for Blair, the moment her eyes made contact with him, he thought for a single second he saw guilt, hurt and pain in them, but before he could even begin to read her, her expression changed and all he could see on her face was a manipulative smile.

Breaking the silence of the room, Chuck said, "look who we have here, hum drum Humphrey, and btw I thought you would have learnt a thing or two with your ill-fated love affair with my sis, but apparently you learn nothing". Dan's eyes were still fixed at Blair, at what he wanted to believe was the woman he loved and not the woman who was standing next to Chuck, right now and who looked amused at his humiliation.

Chuck then quickly turned to Blair and kissed her cheek softly and said, "well, call security if you need to if the Brooklyn hipster troubles you" and with this, he turned to face Dan once again, scowling at him once again, before he quickly exited to the elevator.

With only Dan and Blair in the room now, the atmosphere felt morose and glum to both of them. Dan just stood fixed in his spot, looking at Blair with eyes that screamed everything he felt, but his lips couldn't utter those words.

Blair didn't want to look at Dan's eyes for another second, because if she did, she'd just melt into them, and she'd fall apart right there and Blair Waldorf don't fall apart. Blair Waldorf always has and always will be a heartless cold bitch or that's what Blair wanted to believe about herself, thus once again breaking her silence and turning her back on Dan, she sat on the comforter and picked up the magazine from her side table and flipped through it and said, "Humphrey, don't just stand there like a mannequin, a very classless one at that. I'm sure you're here for a purpose, so get on with it, don't waste my time because unlike you I have things to do rather than just brood and write some tell-all scathing novel about your so-called friends".

Dan walked slowly up to Blair and stood in front of her with his eyes glistened with moisture. He looked at Blair, he wanted to scream at her, shout at her, just tell her to end this, end the pain he felt but all he instead managed to say was "why Blair, why?"

Blair sounded very displeased with the question, but answered anyways, "Well, Humphrey, first of all, I don't think I owe you any explanation, me and you are nothing, never have been and never will be… we're not even friends"

Dan cut her off and he just kneeled in front of Blair, taking her hands in his keeping them on Blair's lap and he pleaded, "Blair, please don't do this to me .I don't know what's made you this way in less than a week, I don't know what I could have possibly done to hurt you or to get you so mad at me, but whatever it is Blair, just forgive me. Give me another chance; I'll do anything to make it all right. Blair please, I know all this is a pretense, with you and Chuck, I don't care what happened Blair but I know all this Is a lie, because I can't believe that all that we shared was a lie, because that wasn't, because I was there Blair and it was the most real thing I've ever experienced in life. "

Blair felt her heart breaking at his words, but what she was doing was for the greater good, it was the only way that three most important people in her life could get their shots at happiness. She jerked away Dan's hands from hers and got up and said, "Humphrey, please I know you're from Brooklyn but this is pathetic even for you, maybe this worked with S, coz let's face its she's a sucker for your sad pathetic self but iam not s, and never will be."

Dan stood up too, and said, "Blair, if this is about Serena, I haven't seen her in more than 4 months and there's nothing between me and her anymore, Blair you're the only woman I have thought about in the last 8 months. You've been the only one, Blair please doesn't do this to me, and it hurts too much Blair. "

"Humphrey, please you're making this way too melodramatic, it's always been about Serena, in fact the very reason you're here in this place is because of her", she said quietly.

Dan looked at her with sad empty eyes and asked her what she meant. She looked at him and it took every ounce in her body to hold herself back from him, because she had never seen a man look so broken and shattered as he did right know. It kind of reminded her the way she had felt when she had discovered that Chuck had slept with Jenny Humphrey and that had hurt so much. She knew what it felt like but she couldn't, she couldn't slip up at this moment, no matter if it killed her.

Blair softened her voice and began, "Humphrey, why do u think I came to you that night after the end of my engagement with Louis?"

Dan began to say something but Blair quickly cut him off and said, "I dint break off my engagement willingly, I had to do it because Louis's sister Beatrice had found about my infidelity, she had somehow found about Chuck and me at that bar mitzvah and I had to walk out so I could keep my dignity intact. "

Dan couldn't understand why Blair would tell him this; it didn't make sense to him, what this had to do with Serena. As if taking a cue, Blair said, "ohh, you're wondering where does Serena come into the picture, She does because she was the one who destroyed my dream. Before it all she had sent the Gossip Girl trivia to princess Sophie to malign me, which she later apologized for and then she even told Beatrice that she was very surprised by my decision to marry Louis, because Serena felt that Chuck and me were inseparable and inevitable and the worst thing that she's ever done to me, because she thought she was saving me from making the biggest mistake of my life by marrying Louis; she told Beatrice about Chuck and me that night and she killed my fairytale Humphrey!", Blair finished her rant with tears choking her voice.

Dan began to take a steps forward and towards Blair, to hold her and wipe her tears like he had grown accustomed to do, but Blair stopped him short by raising her hand in front of her, gesturing him to stay in his place, he did as he was told and stayed in place, with his eyes fixed intently on her.

She gathered her voice and began once again, "and this is where you come into the picture Humphrey. You know I had always wanted to be a princess and I had all of my dreams in my hands and as always they were snatched away by Serena. In her head she might have thought that what, she was doing for me was heroic, in fact the biggest favor for me, but what she basically did ruined me, ruined my dreams, everything and I had to get my revenge, I always do and I wanted to do something that would hurt Serena the way it hurt me and take away her dream like she took away mine and believe it or not. Humphrey, you are her dream, you always have been. She's never loved someone the way she loved you and never will and that's why I came to you that night to destroy Serena. "

Dan couldn't believe his ears. He wasn't sure if everything that he had heard was what actually Blair had said, or he was in the midst of some nightmare. With a shaking voice, Dan said, "Blair, stop lying, I can't take this anymore. Just stop punishing me like this, tell me all of this is a lie. Blair I need to know that, tell me you're lying to me, and tell me goddammit!"

Blair stepped backwards and she said even more softly, "iam sorry Humphrey, but it's the truth, it's the only truth, I only pretended to be with you to hurt Serena but I guess I still love her a lot and didn't want to continue this and that's why I decided to come back to claim my old life, even after what Serena did to me, I couldn't do this to her any longer .Anyways Humphrey, I'm sorry that you had to be the collateral damage between Serena and me".

Dan pleaded once again, "Blair please, please temme that everything I felt with you, when I touched you, held your hand, kissed you, made love to you, looked at you wasn't all a pretense, it couldn't be Blair. "

"Humphrey, well I had to play a good game and iam sorry that you got played but well, how could you even for a second think that I could look at you as anything more than a charity object, to have feelings for you. I mean yeah we do like the same movies and books, but that's where it ends Humphrey. Chuck and Chuck alone is my one true love in my life and he's the only one who gets me. Anyways I'm sure you'll get over this in a few days, as soon as you're back in your temple praising your goddess. "

Dan spoke up instantly, but this time there was no trace of warmth in his voice, "Blair, this is the last time I want to ask you and I want you to tell me the truth, that all this was just a game to you, a ploy to get back at Serena and that not even for an instant did you feel anything about me."

"Humphrey, how many times do I have to repeat myself? Are you really that thick in the head?"

Dan moved forward and grabbed Blair's arm forcefully and closed the distance between them, they were now only inches apart from each other, and with a very commanding voice said, "Blair, look at me, look into my eyes and tell me, that you felt nothing, nothing for me at all. "

Blair's heart skipped rapidly at their proximity but she could see the anger seething through Dan's eyes and she gathered all her courage and looked at him straight in the eye and said, "nothing, I felt nothing at all."

The moments these words came out of her mouth, Dan loosened his grip over her and let go of her, in all senses of the word. She realized that, that very minute she had lost him, lost him forever but then she never had him in the first place.

Dan just backed down and began walking towards the elevator, with his shoulders hunched and his eyes empty, with a heart as broken as he could imagine but deep down inside him all he felt was anger and disgust, so much disgust for the woman he was walking away from…

Seeing Dan walk away from her, she felt her world slipping; she thought she would faint any minute. She could feel an excruciating pain in the pit of her stomach.

Just at the door of the elevator, Dan turned to face her once again and with the most sarcastic smile on his face, he looked at her once again because he wanted to remember this face vividly. The face he was going to hate forever, this face of the cold heartless bitch that had ripped out his heart with not even a flinching emotion.

"Blair, you know life's really ironic, I had actually come here this evening to tell you that "I loved you" and now when I'm leaving; the only thing I want to tell you now is 'Blair, I loathe no one more than you right now, not even Chuck, because at least he could love you no matter how twisted his way was, but you Blair only know how to use people, you cant love anyone but yourself, you really are a cold heartless monster Blair, everybody was right about you, there's nothing inside of you, nothing human Blair, I will never forgive u for this ever and I will loathe you till my dying breath. "

Dan turned back and disappeared into the elevator without one last look and the words that he had uttered cut Blair sharper than anything else, that had ever happened to her in life, not finding about Nate and Serena ,not even Chuck trading her for the hotel or sleeping with Jenny or the end of her engagement with Louis had hurt this much; but Dan's words had cut her so deep and all because she knew that she had made a man who loved her( Dan did love her, he had said so), a man she loved, she had made him hate her, loathe her, detest her so much, that he had promised to hate her till his last breath.

Blair slumped to the floor and she cried and cried her heart out, till she actually felt dizzy and passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**This chapter is from Serena's point of view and will be a small chapter but a very important chapter for the story to unfold.**

Serena couldn't recall the last one week of her life at all. It all seemed like a haze to her, she couldn't see anything clearly, and she couldn't think anything with any certainty. Her world seemed to be in some sort of daze, it was all vague, every memory, everything had hurt so much, but now all she felt was numbness and the big nothingness in her heart. But was there another way to deal with all this? Was there? Her whole world had come crashing down in one moment. She almost smiled at the thought, how one moment; how just few words were enough to completely mess up her life.

She just wanted to keep feeling numb, because the pain was unbearable, so she kept drinking and drinking and popping pain-relieving pills one after the other. She didn't want to feel a moment of consciousness, because she was too devastated to be sober even for a minute. She couldn't remember a time when she had ever gotten this drunk and this high, but she needed it, to drown out all the pain and fade all the memories and cope with the biggest betrayal of her life.

All she had done for the past one week, was lock herself up in her LA apartment and almost drunk herself to death. She didn't even remember if she had done anything but cry, tear all of her pictures with Dan and Blair, and drink and drink more. The more she cried, the more she drank, because the two people she loved more than anyone in her life, had betrayed her in the worst possible way.

Serena kept wondering, if she hadn't gone there that day to surprise Blair and hid in her room to surprise her, with the news that she was moving back to New York with her new job, she wouldn't be in the state she was in. But on the other hand, she was grateful that she was there to witness the events of the night, because otherwise she would have never found out the truth.

For the first time in her life, Serena really felt hatred and hatred alone for Blair. Blair had always been a sister to Serena, more than a sister, they were soul sisters, they were each other's pillars, and they had stood together and faced many storms. Even at the lowest ebbs of their relationships, they had managed to sail through and only come out stronger.

She knew she had wronged, hurt Blair many times, but each time Blair forgave her and similarly Blair had done many hideous things to Serena, but she had never wanted to hurt her so much, Serena always believed that despite the worst of Blair's schemes and plans, which even made her monstrous at times in a lot of people's eyes, Blair was just a girl! Just like her, and no matter what they did to each other, they would never hurt each other so much that it would devastate the other.

But now, she didn't know, if Blair was just a girl, because she couldn't believe that Blair went to that much length to hurt her, Blair took away one thing that Serena thought would always belong to her, Dan's heart and Blair just didn't take it away. She broke it; broke it into so many pieces that heart might never love again, so that it couldn't belong to anyone else now. Serena couldn't claim it back.

Serena hated Blair, for what she done to her and she hated her even more for what she had done to Dan. She wanted to hate Dan too for falling in love with Blair, how could he do that to her, how could he fall in love with her best friend, betray her like this, and then lie about everything every day, when each day all she wanted was to be with him. She hated everything right now, but no matter how hard she tried to hate him, despise him, she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't push him away from her mind and it was killing her. So she kept redirecting her anger, her hatred towards Blair and she hated her more than she thought she was capable of hating anybody in her life.

Blair had no right, to do this to her, if she wanted to hurt her, punish her or destroy her, she should have done whatever she wanted to do to her directly but by hurting and breaking Dan, Blair had chosen the worst path, the most permanently damaging, destructive path. Serena wouldn't and she couldn't ever forgive Blair for this. She never would. She never wanted to see Blair again, and for the first time in her life, she believed that Blair didn't have a heart at all.

But Serena needed to get her life in order. She couldn't spend her life locked up in a room, crying over her friends' betrayal, even if she didn't want to see Blair; she wanted to confront Dan for the last time in her life. She didn't know what she wanted to ask him, what she would demand of him, whether he would answer any of her questions, but she wanted to. She had already rejected her NYC job; she couldn't stay in the city anymore, because the city was a constant reminder of everything that was taken away from her. But she had to see him one final time, before her final goodbye, she just wanted to look at his eyes once again, and she didn't know, why she wanted to see him, but she had to.

Still under influence, she took the first flight out of LA to NYC and as soon as she landed, she hailed a cab and went straight to Brooklyn to see the man she loved, the man who betrayed her, the man who broke her heart for one last time.

She stood outside the loft door, and she could feel a splitting pain in her head, it almost felt like she was going to faint right there and then. But she was here, to see him, she couldn't run away, she felt weak, sore and drunk, and more than anything else, she felt scared. She almost knocked silently and it took almost an eternity for the door to open, it was probably because Dan didn't hear her knock or because it was Dan was too lost in HER thoughts to really hear anything. Her heart shuddered at the second option.

Serena thought that Dan was completely flabbergasted to see her on his doorway, and then after a minute of silence, he said, "Serena, what are you doing here and omg you don't look okay Serena, are you alright?"

Serena stared back at him, while at the same time, trying her hardest to hold back her tears, but she wasn't succeeding.

She managed to let out a squeaky, "no, iam not", amidst her tears that were now spiraling down her face.

Dan moved towards Serena, "Serena, you're drunk and you don't look well, I know something's wrong, temme what is it, I've never seen you like this ever before, Serena. "

Suddenly every word coming out of Dan's mouth was making Serena more and more nauseous, she hated the fact that he was still pretending to care about her, even though he had almost ripped her heart out.

She suddenly stepped back from Dan and screamed, "Dan, don't pretend to care about me, don't pretend that seeing me like this makes any difference to you because you didn't care when you betrayed me with my best friend, you didn't think about me even once, before sleeping with Blair, before lying to me every single day, before falling in love with her, you didn't. You didn't even have the courage to come and tell me everything, you betrayed my trust. "

Dan stood there looking glum and ashamed and apologetic. He knew he deserved every ounce of hatred from Serena, even though he hadn't done anything wrong, because Dan and Serena hadn't been together in the longest time possible. But there was this undeniable connection between them, that made him feel guilty and the worst part of all this was that he had hurt and betrayed Serena, for someone who didn't think of him anything more than a game, someone who had only used him and then thrown him away without a second thought.

He glanced up to a screaming and crying Serena, and he walked towards her, "Serena, iam sorry, I mean I really am, Serena, and I care about you Serena, I could never stop, please, just talk to me. "

Serena looked at Dan and she realized that she shouldn't have ever come here, because she couldn't stay here another moment and look at him, because everything came back to her, all her memories with Dan, the only man she had ever loved, who had made the fatal mistake of falling in love with her monstrous best friend, who had broken him in the bargain, only to leave her (Serena) devastated as well.

She looked at Dan once more, and she said amidst her sobbing, "No, Dan, I don't know why I came here, but I don't want to talk to you, I never want to see you ever again, because it hurts so much, to know that someone you loved with everything, would do the worst possible thing to you, I can't do this Dan, don't ever come near me again, I don't want to, I just don't want to."

Without completing her sentence, Serena just ran out of the loft, onto the street. By this time, Serena could feel the alcohol taking over her body, she felt dizzy and she couldn't control her tears anymore. She didn't know where she was walking, where she was going, she could just feel that her head was splitting into two, she couldn't even see anything clearly anymore, everything was becoming hazy.

It took a moment for Dan to realize, what had really hit him and then he realized that Serena had stormed out of the loft and she was in an inebriated state and not just that Serena was in the worse state that he had ever seen her in. He knew what she was probably feeling, but no matter how much Serena hated him right now, no matter how much she didn't want to see him, he had to go after her, to make sure she was alright. He had to make sure she was okay.

Dan picked up his jacket and rushed out of the loft, but when he got to the street, he couldn't find a trace of Serena. Dan began to panic; she couldn't have walked far ahead, what if something had happened to her, no that couldn't be, nothing would happen to her, he was probably just getting paranoid.

Dan picked up pace, but very soon, he spotted her on the other side of the road; but what the hell was she doing. She was standing in the middle of the road, between the crazy traffic. Dan's world almost stopped. He didn't think about one more thing, as he saw a car speeding towards Serena, he shouted for her, but she couldn't hear him from across the road. So without one more thought, he didn't look right and left and just ran towards Serena and he managed to throw Serena off the road to the pavement to safety, but he wasn't fast enough to save himself from the speeding car.

The last words Dan remembered was someone screaming his name frantically.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Blair hadn't come back home at all in the last one week, she had stayed up with Chuck at the Empire. She didn't want to be in her own penthouse because all it did was remind her of Dan and his words that had thoroughly crushed her. Chuck and Empire were her sanctuary; the only person and place that could make her momentarily forget everything.

Blair looked at the man next to her in bed, the man she was always supposed to love, the only man who was supposed to love her but things had never worked for them, but only a man like Chuck could be with a woman like her. She didn't deserve the Dan Humphries of the world; all she deserved were the Chuck Basses of the world.

At that time, Chuck stirred in the bed and got up and sat upright in the bed, because his phone was ringing relentlessly. He figured it must be an important call, because it was so god damn late at night and whoever was calling him right now, either didn't care for their lives or maybe something terrible had happened. He picked up the phone and saw who was calling. he turned back to see that Blair was up as well, and she looked tensed but he just smiled at her and walked out of the room, gesturing to her, that he had to take this call.

The moment Blair saw Chuck leaving the bedroom to talk in the living room, she had an inkling that something was definitely wrong but she decided to wait it out, till chuck came back.

Chuck came back to the bedroom in 20 minutes with a forlorn expression on his face, that somehow scared her, Chuck Bass didn't wear these kinds of looks, "What's wrong Chuck? "She uttered in a low voice.

Chuck looked away from Blair, because he didn't know how he was supposed to tell her something like this, because he knew Blair Waldorf better than anybody else, and he knew that what she had with Dan was real and it hurt him, but he was no fool, he could read Blair like an open book.

He turned towards his wardrobe and picked out a suit and was starting to change his clothes, when Blair got out from the bed and came and stood in front of him and said, "Chuck, what's wrong, I need to know, there's something, something terrible, I can sense it Chuck, just temme what you aren't telling me, I need to know now!"

Chuck didn't want to look at her, but he knew he couldn't hide this from her. He couldn't. so he turned away from Blair once again, he threw on his overcoat over his suit and handed Blair's overcoat to her and faced her and said, "Blair, we need to go, now, leave. "

Blair almost screamed at him, "What's wrong with you, where do we have to go? Iam still in my night clothes. "

Chuck cut her off and said, "Blair, I don't have time for all this, let's just leave now."

Blair jerked herself away from Chuck and said, "Iam not leaving, unless you tell me what the hell is happening here and why you're behaving so strangely, who was it that called you and where do we have to go at this god forsaken hour."

Chuck was getting impatient and angry, and he knew he couldn't protect her from the terrible news anymore, he had to tell her. He didn't turn away from her but didn't look at her directly in the face and said, "Blair, it was Lily who called me, Humphrey, I mean Dan, has been in an accident and he's in the hospital right now, in a coma, he's critical and the doctors aren't very optimistic right now. "

Blair, stood there staring at Chuck, the words coming out of his mouth seemed unreal to her, they couldn't be true, she won't let them be true, this couldn't happen to Dan, her Dan, no this was not true, this couldn't be, she could feel the earth moving beneath her feet, she was sure she was in a nightmare.

Chuck could see that Blair was trying her best to stay in control, but every second she was slipping and it hurt him to see her being in love with another man but at this time, Chuck didn't want to be selfish, he went to Blair, caught hold of her hand, and dragged her to the door.

At the door, he cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears from her cheeks and said, "Blair, don't worry, I'll do any damn thing to make sure that Humphrey gets alright, Blair he'll make it through."

Blair looked at chuck with eyes that pierced right through his soul and she said, "Just take me there, Chuck, please".

In another fifteen minutes Blair and Chuck were in the hospital gallery outside Dan's room. Chuck saw Lily and a very harrowed and broken Rufus talking to a group of doctors, and he told Blair that he'll go find out more and he rushed in their direction.

Blair was still in tears and her heart was still thundering against her chest, she wanted to see Dan, but she couldn't move, something was pulling her back it seemed with full force. she couldn't take a step forward, because somewhere she felt responsible for everything that had happened to him and if something was to happen to him, no nothing would, she wouldn't let, it because it would kill her.

She wiped her tears off, she wanted to see him, even if he wasn't conscious, she just wanted to catch a glimpse of him; so she walked in the direction of his room but before she could get there, she was stopped by a raging teary eyed but angry Jenny Humphrey.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here Blair?, what have you come here to do now, make sure he dies, because your dirty little game still isn't over?" screamed Jenny, t hat instantly drew attention from everybody present in the hall.

Blair was completely taken aback by Jenny's accusing words, but before she could even register the meaning of Jenny's words, she heard Eric and Nate, trying to calm Jenny.

"Tell her to get the hell out of here, out of my brother's life, before I kill her" Jenny screamed once again before she was forcibly dragged away by Nate.

Eric turned to Blair and he could see that Blair was now crying and breaking all at the same time. He had seen Blair waldorf like this for the first time, because all his life the only Blair he had ever seen was the one who was always in control, who thought showing emotions was a sign of weakness.

"Blair, iam sorry about the way Jenny lashed out at you, but you know, its Dan and you shouldn't be here right now, Blair, I don't think Rufus, Serena, or his mom, anybody will be happy to see you here right now. " Eric said.

"Eric, I just want to see him once and ill leave right away, just tell me he's okay, he's going to be okay, please".

Eric somewhere blamed himself for the big scene that had happened in the hall right now, because if he hadn't told jenny, what Dan had confessed to him last week about Blair and him. Blair would have still been able to at least see Dan once but Eric had been too confused and he had no idea why he told Jenny, but he guessed, at that moment he too wanted to blame someone for what happened to Dan, to his sister, but he was wrong, because he could see how shaken and affected Blair was by all this and she wouldn't have ever cared this much, if she didn't care for Dan this much. She cared more for Dan, than for her ego and which spoke volumes about her affection for him right now but Eric had gotten it all wrong but there wasn't much he could do about it right now.

He faced Blair once again and said, "Blair, just go from here right now, things would flare up and get worse, everybody's going through a lot right now. I don't want to make it worse, just leave now and ill keep u informed about every little detail, about every little progress and you can come back as soon as everything cools down a bit. "

Blair pleaded with Eric, "Please Eric, I just want to see him once."

Eric turned to Blair, "Blair, Dan means a lot to all of us and I know despite whatever you did, he means a lot to you too and for his sake, Just leave right now and Blair, I promise you I will make sure you see him as soon as possible, but right now you have to leave. "

Blair tried to smile through her tears and said, "ill leave Eric if it helps Dan and his family but I'll wait Eric, please let me know everything little thing, please, do that for me."

With these words, Blair left the building and she hailed a cab and went back to the only place she could find solace in, Brooklyn.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Blair woke up a mess on Dan's bed in his loft, to the sound of her phone ringing; her heart skipped a beat as she realized that it was Eric calling. She didn't want to hear any more bad news, she didn't know if she would survive another bad news. With shivering hands, she picked up the phone and brought it to her ears.

"Oh thank god Blair, you picked up, I was starting to get worried, you're alright right?" Eric shouted from the other end.

Blair muttered "Eric is he okay, how's he now?"

Eric's voice was a bit more relaxed now and he said, "Blair, he's okay, I mean he's not as critical as he was last night. They did manage to detect and work on some of his internal injuries, so that's definitely a progress but he still hasn't regained consciousness and the doctors can only know, how successful his operation's been, once he, you know, comes out of coma. "

All Blair could utter was "oh"

Eric responded, "But Blair the doctors are sure that he'll make progress, they said all the signs were there, so I'm sure before we know it. Dan will be all good once again, believe me Blair, he'll be fine soon, very soon!"

"Thanks Eric, I don't know why you're doing this for me, when I've hurt everybody else but."

Eric cut Blair off and said, "Blair, Dan would want you to know and iam doing this for him and for you, Blair, Where are you right now?"

Blair was thankful for the one person who somehow still believed in her, the one person who didn't hate her, she just said, "Eric, can I come see him now, please"

Eric took a long breath before he said, "Blair, don't come here now, everybody's leaving right now but maybe in a few hours, when it'll just be Rufus and Dan's mother in the hospital, you should come then, I'll come pick you up and take you with me to see him; okay. "

Blair was in tears once again and she softly told Eric, "Don't come pick me up, I'll come to the hospital myself, just meet me there, I'll be there as and when you tell me to be there, I just need to see him, I'll wait as long it takes to see him. "

With this she hung up the phone, and fell face down on the bed once again, being here in his bed, was the only connection she could feel to him. This was her only way of convincing herself that Dan would be okay, because everything had his scent, everything had his essence, it was the only place where she felt like she was still a part of him, like he was a part of her now!

She knew it was already morning and she had to be out of the loft before anybody came in, especially Jenny. She wasn't scared of her, Blair Waldorf doesn't do fear but she didn't want to face another encounter with Jenny Humphrey, not now at least, she couldn't handle anymore guilt, she had enough of her own, to deal with other people's accusations right now!

Blair didn't want to leave any traces of her in the loft and she made the bed, straightened everything the way it was and locked the house behind her, leaving the keys exactly where she knew Dan hid them. She was exhausted, she didn't remember at what time had she stopped crying and gone off to sleep but she was sure it wouldn't have been much. She decided that she needed to go back to her house, freshen up, eat something, before she went to see Dan; Her mind kept telling her that was the right thing to do, to wait, till Eric gives her the green signal but her heart wouldn't let her do that.

So instead of going back to her penthouse, Blair found herself outside the hospital. She knew Eric wouldn't be too pleased with her defiance right now but when did Blair Waldorf ever give a damn about anyone's advice or order. She knew if any of the others saw her, except maybe Nate and Lily, it would create another scene, if Jenny knew she was here, it would lead to mayhem and if Serena saw her, Blair didn't even want to think what that would lead to but she didn't care about any of them, not when he was in a condition like this, she didn't care what they thought about her but she had to see him for herself, knowing that he would be okay, wasn't enough for her.

On reaching the gallery outside his room, she didn't find anyone, probably everyone had left and maybe Rufus and Allison were getting coffee or something, because they weren't there either.

Blair feeling emboldened yet weak as she opened the door of Dan's room with the slightest of sound, so as not to wake him. She didn't realize that all that everybody wanted right now was for him to wake up. The moment she looked at Dan's almost lifeless body on the bed, heavily bruised, bandaged and tube, with multiple monitors determining every second of his breath, every moment of his heart, every action of his brain, all she could think of was he lay there, in pain he couldn't feel, all because of her.

Blair didn't realize, when she started crying once again because to see him like this, had impaired her more than she deemed humanly possible. She just stood frozen in her spot and murmured, "Iam sorry, Dan, Iam so sorry, please get okay Dan, please I can't see you like this, please Dan, I can't live seeing you like this, Dan. "

She wanted to touch him, she wanted to hold him, she wanted to wake him up from his slumber, that pained her to no end but she couldn't bring forth herself to step near him. Because seeing him like this, she realized how much she had damaged him, she hadn't just destroyed him. She had almost killed him. No, she couldn't stand there another minute to look at him, because she felt that she had brought all this on him and who knows what her presence alone would do to him now, she had to leave, she had to just get out of here, before she brought any more misfortune to him.

The moment she turned to open the door, she found herself face to face with a pale and livid Serena.

Blair could see the hatred in Serena's eyes for her, eyes that looked at her menacingly, that hated her with an unknown depth.

Blair tried to get past Serena, brushing a quick, "I just wanted to see him, and I am leaving."

Serena caught hold of Blair's elbow and dragged her outside, closing the door behind her softly and turned to Blair once again and said in a very low but dangerous voice, "Blair, I don't know why you came here last night and why you came here now and I know you did all of this to hurt me, to destroy me, you did it Blair, you were successful, what did you come here for to rejoice in your success, to see it with your own eyes?"

Blair didn't realize that she was screaming at Serena in a hospital, normally Blair would never behave like this, but how could Serena accuse her of something like this.

"Serena, have you completely lost your mind, I would never do that to you to Dan. "

Serena cut Blair short and screamed back, "Blair, there's nothing you won't do, there's nothing, what you did to me, was fine, maybe I was wrong, maybe you had a right to hurt me but why Dan, he never did anything to you Blair, he was one of the best guys, he never hurt you and you broke him, you broke me and if you hadn't done that to him, he wouldn't be here right now. If only I hadn't gone to him and he hadn't tried to save me, to just let me die, he'd be okay and not fighting in there for his life. "

Serena dropped to the floor before she could finish her words and she began to sob, Blair slowly sat next to Serena, tried to touch her shoulder but before Blair could make any contact with Serena. Serena just pushed her hand away and said, "It was supposed to be ME in there Blair, not him and I'll never forgive myself for it, but I'll never forgive you because you took the most important thing in my life away from me."

"Serena, it's not."Blair pleaded.

Serena suddenly stood up and with a very harsh voice told Blair, "Blair, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure Dan gets all right and that nothing ever hurts him. I mean I will let nothing hurt him ever again and even if that means I have to end my friendship with you. I will, I don't want you to be part of our lives anymore. I never want to see or hear from you again and you're never going to contact Dan again or try and see him, Here or anywhere, I mean it Blair, I see you anywhere near him ever again, I will make it my life's mission to bring you down, complete annihilation Blair. "

Blair couldn't believe the venomous words that were coming out of Serena's mouth, she wasn't going to let Blair near Dan ever again, who was she to tell her that, Blair looked at serena and said, "Serena, I know you're hurt but I didn't want to do this, I would never do this to you, I love you like my sister Serena and Dan. I wouldn't even dream of. "

"No, just stop saying anything Blair, please; I don't believe anything you say anymore. Blair, if you cared about me and if you cared about Dan for even a minute in your life, you know what you have to do, Blair, it's just not this accident, its everything Blair, as long as you exist in his life, he'll never be okay. Blair, the only way to stop all this is for you to leave, leave us and never come back, do it for me Blair, do it for him. Just go and never come back here. " Serena said crying, before she ran back into Dan's room.

Blair didn't know what had hit her, but every step that she took out of the building, she felt that a part of her was dying, but the only thing, she knew she could do for him, so that he gets alright and the only way she could end his pain, his suffering was if she disappeared from his life, forever and if staying away from Dan was what it took, for him to become one again. She was going to do it, she was going to leave, and she would do anything for him, anything because she until that moment hadn't realized the intensity of her love for him that would make her do anything for him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Iam pretty sure most of you probably won't like this chapter because this one is going to be more about Blair and Chuck. Honestly Dan is my favorite character on the show along with Blair, but I've been a Chuck fan too and I would love the show to redeem Chuck, but not makes him get back Blair. But for the sake of this story, this scene is very necessary. **

Blair looked around her room once again, everything from her clothes, her shoes, her bags, her accessories, her books, everything was neatly packed. She had done most of the packing herself, obviously with the help of dorota, because nobody else was the doing job perfectly so she had to do the whole thing herself. The packing had exhausted her, as she had spent almost three days on it, but she didn't want to leave anything out, what if she missed something there, she wanted to take almost everything with her. However, the one thing she wanted to leave behind was the memories of the last few days but she knew shedding that baggage of memories wasn't going to be possible.

She had discarded many things that reminded her of Serena, and that had led her to throw away many of her favorite dresses, shoes and bags, her heart literally broke throwing those things away but she was running away from all this, she didn't need to be constantly reminded of everything that she wanted to forget. Serena was the biggest part of them all, it's not like Blair didn't love Serena anymore, she did, and she would have done anything to make everything between them all right, but it wasn't going to happen. Their relationship had probably sailed through a lot of things, but this time it felt like the final nail in the coffin. And if Blair wanted to move on to a new life to leave everything behind, she had to leave everything that screamed Serena, it almost felt like Blair was being forced to leave her entire life behind.

Blair was ready to leave everything behind her, but there was one thing she held on to, which didn't even belong to her but she wanted to keep it, because it was the only thing that would in some way connect her to him, remind her of the most beautiful months that she spent with him. Blair bent down and picked up Cedric-Dan's cabbage patch doll from one of the packed bags and held it close to her chest. She whispered to Cedric, "I will never let you go" with a small tear streaming down her face. She remembered that Dan had never really given Cedric to her, but one time when she was in a playful mood and had wanted to tease him, she had hid Cedric in one of her bags and then forgotten all about it, to only discover it recently. She couldn't have been more thankful, because ever since she had discovered Cedric in her bag, she had slept everyday holding him close to her that somehow made her feel warm and closer to Dan in a way.

Blair was still lost in her thoughts, when Dorota entered her room and announced that Mr. Chuck was here to see her. Blair told Dorota to let Chuck up to the room. Blair was still wondering why Chuck was here, she still hadn't told anybody, nobody was speaking to her anyways, that she was leaving, going to France to live with her father and Roman. But it was Chuck, he knew everything about her anyways, he could always read her, just the way she could read him. They had this bond that had time and time again pulled them back to each other, no matter how much they had hurt each other. Blair still cared a great deal for Chuck, but she was certain that she wasn't in love with him anymore. She hadn't been in love with Chuck, for very long now, ever since she had been with Dan. Being with Dan had taught her that love could be simple, caring and nurturing. He had given her all that. But the only way she knew how to love was the destructible way and her love had destroyed him. Maybe she was the one who had destroyed Chuck too, just the way she had Dan, maybe it was really her all along, and maybe she didn't deserve any love in life.

Chuck stood on the doorway of Blair's room, looking at Blair deep in thought sitting on the edge of her bed, Chuck thought to himself, the information had been right, Blair was really leaving.

Chuck cleared his throat and entered her room; Blair looked up to see Chuck Bass walking towards her. He very quietly sat next to her on the bed and kept his hand over Blair's and looking down very softly and said, "So it's true, you really are leaving?"

She faced him and said "yes, Chuck, iam leaving."

Chuck's eyes pleaded to Blair, but his voice didn't give away the pain he was feeling, he said, "Why Blair, why are you running away. You are Blair Waldorf, you fight, and you don't run away. "

"Chuck, iam not running away, iam just leaving because it's the only thing I can do to make it all right for everyone here, nobody wants me here anyways, it's the only way to make everything right."

"Don't say that Blair, I want you here, in fact I need you here Blair, you stay here, and together we'll make everything alright. We'll have each other Blair and that's all we need, we'll fight through everything together Blair. I'll be by your side through everything in whatever way you want me to be, just don't leave. "Chuck's voice was almost a whisper now.

Blair turned her face towards Chuck and she put her hand on his cheek and said, "Chuck, iam not doing this for anybody else. Iam doing this for me Chuck, I need to find myself again and I can't do it here anymore, not with you, not with anyone else. I need to do it by myself Chuck. "

Chuck was almost pleading now and he said, "Blair, don't leave me alone, without you iam nothing. I don't have, I've never had anyone but you. "

Blair was feeling choked with emotions, because everything came back to Blair with Chuck's words, the way she loved him, how he had completely immersed herself in his love, so much so that it literally broke her, how each time they hurt each other but none of those things hurt her anymore, they didn't leave a bitter taste in her anymore, she had finally forgiven Chuck, all she felt was a small pain in her chest, but she knew she didn't love Chuck anymore, at least not like that. She couldn't help being moved and caring for a man that she once had allowed herself to be consumed by.

She turned to Chuck and said once again, "Chuck, I care about you a lot and always will but I don't love you anymore. I haven't been in love with you for very long, iam really sorry; Chuck but there's nothing holding me back here anymore. "

Chuck felt the force of Blair's words hitting him, although he had known the reality of things for a very long time. Chuck had known the time Blair had come to him, after her three months with Dan, telling him how she wanted to be with him and him alone. He knew Blair was hiding something then, but he didn't pry because all he cared about was the fact that Blair was back but he didn't have Blair, not for one moment, she never left his sight but she wasn't really there in any of those moments. He could see her, touch her, make love to her, talk to her, hear her, but somehow he couldn't feel her. He had known since then, since the very first time she kissed him back then, that she didn't belong to him anymore, that she finally had fallen in love with someone else. She had fallen in love with Dan Humphrey of all the people in the world, he couldn't understand that.

But this was the first time, Blair had said those words aloud, the words had crushed Chuck but in some way he was relieved to hear them, as they gave him some sort of closure, once and for all.

He got up from the bed and walked towards the door, he turned once again to face Blair, and said, "if that's what you want Blair, I won't stand in your way, you can leave, I won't hold you back, but I still think you're running away. Blair you always fight for the people you love and although I hate to admit it but I do know you love Brooklyn, stay here for him, fight for him, and tell him what I can see Blair he needs to know. "

Blair looked up at Chuck and she knew it must have ripped apart Chuck to say those words, but she knew Chuck had really changed and all he really cared about now was Blair's happiness.

Blair spoke again and said, "No Chuck, I fought for you and you fought for me but look where we ended up. Dan's life is better off without me, he really is, I know serena and everybody else will take care of him and you know Chuck, when you love someone, all you want for them is happiness, even if you can't be a part of that. "

Chuck passed her a meek smile and left the room just as quietly as he had entered it, because if there was someone who understood the words she said, was probably him.

Blair was distracted by her phone beeping once again, and she found a new text from Eric. Eric had kept true to his word, he had kept Blair informed about every little detail of Dan's progress. Dan had come out of the coma on the third day of the operation and was now making quick progress. He had just texted her doctors had finally said that they could take Dan home by next weekend. He had made tremendous recovery and maybe in another two months or so, he could fully resume all of his activities and everything. Eric also asked Blair, if she wanted to come see him now, because Dan was asleep and nobody was in the hospital other than Eric himself.

She texted Eric back saying, that she didn't want to come, but she was glad that Dan was getting better now. She had already secured another promise from Eric, that he would never tell Dan that Blair had been keeping a tab on Dan's health and that she had come to see him or she had wanted to see him. Eric had initially resisted to making that promise but he had relented under pressure from Blair, because it was the only thing Blair had ever asked of Eric and Eric didn't know how to deny the one thing…she wanted from him.

Blair didn't want Dan to know, that she had ever come to see him, or she had been worried about him. She was certain that Jenny and Serena would never mention her to him and Eric wouldn't mention it now either. Nate wouldn't tell Dan anything anyway, because he didn't want to upset Jenny and Serena and Chuck, he would never tell Dan. She wanted Dan to hate her; because that was the only way he'd move on, hating her was the only way.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Dan woke up to the smell of waffles and the sound of his dad crooning to one of his old songs. Dan definitely loved his dad's waffles and his singing, (he had been used to both of them for most of his life) but the last 2 years, he'd been more used to silent mornings and the smell of black coffee. This special treatment every day, with everyone being so overtly protective and caring made him feel very odd about himself. He liked the fact that every one stood by him and took care of him, but it was getting a bit much now, he missed being in Brooklyn, he missed his own space, he missed doing small little things for himself, he just wasn't used to a life, where everything was served to him on a platter. He had gotten much better now, he felt much stronger, and he was ready. He could take care of himself now, he wanted to tell them that.

He knew his dad, Lily, Jenny wouldn't be happy about it but he had to do it for himself. And then he thought about Serena, Serena who had spent every minute in the last one and a half months taking care of him. Serena was behaving like his own personal nurse, she took care of all of Dan's needs, he was grateful for that, but he didn't know if Serena was doing it for love or guilt, but he knew she was scared and she wanted to just take care of him.

Dan had to let his dad know that he wanted to go back to Brooklyn, he felt fine and he was well enough to take care of himself now. He made up his mind that he had to do it today, maybe he could rope in Eric to support him, as Eric was coming back today from Rhode Island for the weekend.

Dan got up slowly from his bed and made his way to the kitchen in the penthouse, where the whole family was already there to greet him, in addition to it were Nate and Chuck( well Chuck was technically family too). Dan remembered the many breakfasts and brunches at the Vanderwoodsen-Humphrey penthouse, with the same group of people, but she used to always be there. He didn't care about her presence back then, except for the time she would make one of her snide remarks. But now, her absence was so prominent, but he looked at everybody around him, and they all pretended that none of them could feel her absence. But he knew they were all pretending, none of them ever brought her name around him. But he wanted them to stop acting like this, yes, she had hurt him and he probably hated her, but it's not like he had tried to kill himself or something over her, so they had to stop acting this way.

Rufus was the first one to greet Dan, "Son, c'mon, join us, I made special waffles today."

Dan joined everybody on the table and they all took turns to say something to him; breakfast as usual was lavish. After everybody finished the sumptuous meal; Nate and Chuck bid their goodbye and left, Jenny and Serena had decided to go shopping and they too left. It was only Rufus, Lily, Eric and him left at home. He knew his dad and lily had to go for some fund-raiser lunch today and that they too would be off in a while. He was in fact glad that he would get to spend some time with Eric alone.

His parents left soon and it was just him and Eric and they decided to just talk. Eric had just begun dating someone and Eric was completely smitten by him. He was glad that Eric didn't treat him like an invalid and spoke to him, without asking him all about his health and how he was doing and blah blah, he was really tired of answering those questions on a daily basis.

There was another thing on Dan's mind that he wanted to ask Eric, something that he hadn't been able to ask anyone because he didn't want to hope and everybody had made sure that they never mentioned her in front of him. But he wanted to know now, why she hadn't come to see him even once, when he was in there fighting for his life, she couldn't have been that heartless, could she? He never saw her there, but somewhere for some reason he felt, that she had come, he didn't want to believe otherwise, but with Blair, he didn't know if he could ever trust his instincts again.

After a brief period of silence, Dan spoke up and said, "Eric, I don't know if I should bring this up, but there's something that's been bothering me for a while and I don't know if I could turn to anyone else but you."

Eric in a worried tone, asked Dan, "what is it Dan?"

Dan murmured, "It's about Blair."

Eric realized that this was probably the moment that Eric had to keep Blair's promise, he couldn't betray her trust on this one, he felt conflicted but he knew there was no other way out, he spoke softly and said, "what about Blair, Dan?"

Dan spoke after another moment of silence, "I don't know why I think or why I hope that Blair cared, you know about me. That she came to see me, when I was fighting for my life in the hospital that she bothered to find out how I was doing. That she was there, even for single second that she cared. Eric I don't know, but something inside me still feels that despite everything Blair still cared, you know, I mean I can't talk about her to anybody else, there's a complete ban in this place, nobody ever utters her name, nobody mentions her, I don't know, but I still wonder about her sometimes. I don't know why she hasn't come to see me. "

Eric knew that it was going to be very difficult to lie to Dan, but he had to do it, "Dan, I am really sorry, but Blair, she never came to see you, she didn't. She's not even here in fact, she left a couple of days after your accident for France and I don't think she's coming back. Dan, it's the best if you just forget about her, she didn't care, I am sorry. "

Dan didn't even let Eric complete his words, and he just left, he went to his room and locked himself. This was his very last hope for Blair but even this was crushed. He had tried so hard to hate her but the only person he hated right now was himself, because he still cared for her. He still expected that she cared, but she never had, she didn't even care about him, when he lay there dying. This was all too much, how many times would he let Blair Waldorf destroy him again and again. He had to stop this, he didn't care how but he had to force her out of his mind, no matter what it took.

Dan spent the rest of his day in the room, he only came out for dinner and he found his dad, Lily, Jenny, Serena and Eric all sitting around in the living room. The moment he entered they all looked up and Jenny came up to him and she hugged him tightly.

Dan cleared his throat and said, "I wanted to speak to all of you about something."

He looked around to see that his dad looked confused, whereas Lily looked curious, Jenny looked tensed, Serena looked worried and Eric looked apologetic.

Dan began again, "I know the last few weeks have been very tough for all of you and I can never thank any of you enough for taking care of me the way you have but I feel much better now and although I've loved being here with all of you, but I feel it's time that I move back to the loft. I really am better and I think the sooner I move there, the faster I can get back to my old life."

His dad rose in protest and said, "Dan, you're still not fine. I mean how can you even think of it right now. I mean you definitely can't take care of yourself. You're still healing. "

"Dad, I understand you're worried, but believe me dad, I am fine, I can really take care of myself and I kind of miss living by myself and taking care of all my needs."

After a big round of protests and deliberations and negotiations, Dan had managed to convince his dad, Jenny and Serena that it was a good idea for him to move back. Lily had come around much faster, even though she loved having Dan stay with them; she understood his need to be independent.

Dan went back to his room to sleep and it was probably very late at night, he heard a knock on his door. He got up from his bed with a great difficulty, it had been a long and depressing day and his medicines had made him so drowsy, so to wake up in the middle of the night was definitely difficult.

He made his way to the door slowly and opened it, only to find a teary-eyed Serena standing at his door. Dan was worried looking at Serena and he opened the door wide enough for to enter and he shut it after she was in. Dan went up to where Serena was standing and he just looked at her and then cupped her face in his hands and spoke, "Serena, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She looked at Dan, the man who had almost sacrificed his life to save her and said, "Dan, at dinner today, when you decided that you wanted to leave, live by yourself in the loft, something inside me felt very upset and sad, I don't know, Dan, you suffered because of me, I mean I brought everything on you and I just wanted to make it up to you if I ever could and take care of you but now you want to leave and a part of me thinks that you still haven't forgiven me."

"Serena, don't be crazy, it never was your fault, and I would save you again and again. Don't blame yourself and I don't want to go back because I am tired of being around you, it's just that im tired of being taken care of, that's all." Dan said.

Serena said, "No, Dan all of it, everything that you had to go through, all the pain that you had to endure, everything was because of me. If I hadn't ever come into your life, if you had never fallen in love with me, if I hadn't dragged you into my world, you'd be happy today and not hurting, it's all my fault, Dan. "

Dan took Serena's hands in his and made her shush and he said, "Serena, don't ever say that, if I could go back and redo my life, there are a lot of things I would like to change, like you know Georgina, but I would never. I can never regret falling in love with you; I've never blamed you for dragging me into your world. I wouldn't be anywhere but be a part of this world now, this is where I want to be Serena, and this is where I chose to be."

Serena just leapt into Dan's arms as soon as he finished his sentence. She whispered into his ear, "Dan, don't leave me here, I don't know how to live without you, take me with you, please!"

Dan held Serena back from him and looked at her and he wondered maybe this was how it was supposed to be all along. It was always supposed to be them, she was the woman who had enchanted him for a large part of his life, she was his first love, and she was the one who had literally nursed him back to health. How hard could this be? He pushed Serena's hair behind her ear and said, "Okay".

Before he even finished his sentence, he found Serena's lips on his and before he realized he was kissing her back. He began to kiss her with force, almost feverishly, because he felt the harder he kissed Serena, the further he could push Blair away from his mind, from his heart and his life. so he kissed her harder and harder, with all the force and intensity in him, trying hard to drown out every thought about the woman who had broken him.

**Okay, this was the last chapter, before the time leap. I know the story is turning longer and longer, but I guess iam just writing in flow. Hope you guys are still reading and liking it. **

**Well, this isn't really an update, but I just changed my formatting a bit because I realized that many of you must be finding it very difficult to read it( as suggested by some of you). So maybe this format becomes easier for you guys to read. Iam going to be updating very soon and it'll probably be more than one chapter at a time. The story's going to do a turnaround in the next few chapters, with lots of D-B interaction. **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Honestly, I don't think this chapter came out the way I wanted to write it. But I realized if I didn't get into writing this, I wouldn't be able to move ahead with the story. Ill update faster now. Thanks to those who are still reading.**

It's been more than two months already since Dan had graduated from NYU. Dan hadn't really taken up a proper job, because, firstly he didn't really need to, as his book had made him quite rich and secondly, with a proper job, he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on his writing. He had been writing free-lance articles for many magazines like Vanity Fair, New Yorker, etc. Dan was enjoying this pace of life. Most of his weekdays were filled with writing, coffee, cigarettes, more writing and Serena. His weekends were spent mostly with his family or hanging out on double dates with Jenny and Nate.

Dan and Serena had been living in together for the last one and a half years, when Serena had asked him to take her with him to Brooklyn. But that had never happened. They never ended up moving back to Brooklyn, because somehow Dan felt that he didn't want to start a new chapter of his life with Serena, in the place, where everything reminded him of Blair. He wanted a fresh start and he knew that his loft would be the last place for starting over.

Serena and Dan decided and moved into a small but cozy apartment on the Upper West Side. It was a good location for both of them, as it was closer to Serena's school, Columbia, so it was easier for her to juggle between her school and work. For Dan, it was convenient, as he could meet his agent at any time and many of his book events and readings happened in Manhattan. More importantly, this way he was closer to his friends and family. He went out most days with Nate to play soccer. Even Jenny came to see him frequently. She was in Parsons now, although she still stayed with Rufus and Lily at home. In fact, Dan saw Chuck very often too, although he wouldn't go as far as to say they were friends, but at least now they tolerated each other.

Dan's world was almost complete. He had a loving and supportive family. His best friend was now dating his sister, and that made them even closer. Dan and Eric had become much closer, and Eric was almost like a blood brother to Dan now, although he didn't see much of him, except during the holidays. More than anything else, he had a girlfriend, Serena Vander woodsen, the kind of woman, men dreamt about, who was completely and madly in love with him. His career was going great, he was an acclaimed novelist, and his novel had made him famous beyond his imagination. He had also graduated at the top of his class from NYU. His life was almost perfect, but there was something missing in his life. He had everything, but still he felt something was vacant and hollow in his heart.

* * *

><p>Dan was as usual was sitting in front of his laptop, trying to finish his new article for the Vanity Fair and he was on his fourth cup of coffee already at just eleven in the morning. Seriously, he thought, if there's one thing, he was addicted to, and it definitely would be to black coffee, maybe as much as Chuck was addicted to his scotch.<p>

This very moment, his golden sparklingly beautiful girlfriend entered their home, with a very wide grin on her face. She came forward to him and sat on his lap and planted a very passionate kiss on his lips.

Dan smiled and said, "Wow, not that I mind this, but you seem exceedingly ecstatic about something today."

Serena broke their embrace and got up from his lap and said, "I don't need a reason to do that, but yes, I am really happy today and I guess you'll be happy or at least semi-happy if you hear what I have to tell you."

Dan was intrigued and he asked her in a bewildered tone, "Wow, what's that, something that will make you happy and me semi-happy?"

Serena almost shouted in ecstasy, "Chuck is getting married".

Dan exhaled a shocked "what?"

Serena replied with her voice still shrill but happy, "yeah, he is, he just proposed to Emily last night. I mean this is so surprising and so good. I mean they had been together only for a month, but he's ready to settle down with her. He told me he had found his centre in her. She makes him so happy. Iam just so happy for him, I mean it's Chuck, who would have thought he'd be getting married, and not just that, but be the first one among us getting married."

Dan was happy about the news too, that finally Chuck had managed to fall in love again. He had found his happiness, despite who he had been in the past and the things he had done, Dan felt that Chuck deserved every ounce of happiness that he could get and maybe Emily was the girl who could give him all that and more.

Dan stood up and ran a hand through his hair and said, "Wow, this is real great news. I mean iam surprised that Chuck Bass is getting married, but I guess he deserves to be happy too. You know I think I should go and congratulate him."

Serena walked up to Dan and put her arms around his neck and whispered, "Actually, Dan you can do that tonight. We are going to his engagement party."

Dan smiled and said, "Wow, people move really fast here. Don't tell me the wedding is next weekend now."

Serena let out a laugh and said, "No, the wedding is not next weekend, but its two months later. There's not much time and we'll have to do so much before that. You know wedding planning takes so much precision and time, I mean I don't know how iam going to plan it."

Dan could see Serena getting tensed, and he rubbed her shoulder trying to relax her and said, "Serena, you can hire any wedding planner you want. I mean you can organize a wedding in a week with their help. Can't you?"

Serena said, "Yes, you can, but Dan that's not personal. We can't do that for Chuck. We are his family Dan. He's missed out on so much in life, but I want to make sure that his wedding is perfect. He deserves it. He does. But iam such a mess, on my own, I could never do it. There's only person who can organize it perfectly. "She finished her sentence, looking at Dan sheepishly.

Dan knew exactly who Serena was talking about, but he wanted to play along, because now he realized that Serena had staged the whole thing, because she wanted to actually warm him into something that she wanted. He just had to figure out what that was; because he knew Serena liked to beat around the bush all the time.

Serena looked up at Dan again, who was by now sitting on the couch with his cup of coffee. Serena went and sat next to him and said, "Dan, I know I shouldn't be doing this. But you know she's the only one who can do it perfectly. Chuck would want her here too. And more than that, Dan, I miss her; I've missed her every day for the last one and a half years." Serena said, almost crying.

Dan just sat there, he didn't know what to say, he didn't understand what Serena wanted of him right now.

Serena looked at him again and she knew that Dan was disturbed by the very thought of her. She quickly added, "Dan, you don't have to be friends with her or something. It's just time, she's back, back where she belongs. I want her to come back to her world. But you know, things were so complicated when she left. She made a lot of mistakes and I hated her for it, but she's my best friend, she's like my sister, Dan, I miss her. But I can't do this without you."

Dan just looked stunned and asked Serena, "What do you want from me Serena?"

Serena replied, "Nothing Dan, I just want you to know that just because I want to welcome her back, iam not ready to forget everything that happened in the past. But iam willing to give her another chance, but I don't want to do it if it's going to hurt you. I need you to be okay with this, because I can't do anything to hurt you. "

Dan held Serena's hands between hers and said, " if having her back makes you happy and if that's what you want, then iam okay with that Serena; because more than anything else in the world I just want to make you happy."

Serena almost jumped at Dan hearing this, she said, "Dan, really, are you sure about this? Oh my gawd, this is so exciting, it makes me so happy. Dan, you don't know how happy you've made me."

Dan was happy for her too, but he felt something bitter. Her being back in his world scared him. Knowing that she was back, kind of triggered a sharp pain in his chest. But he decided that never again would he let Blair Waldorf have the pleasure of walking all over him. He vouched that he wouldn't let Blair affect him in any manner. She had no place in his life and he would make sure of that.

Serena beaming with a smile said, "Dan, I have got to go now, I have things to plan. In fact, I have to still figure out what to wear for tonight's party. So I'll see you at the party directly." She kissed Dan's cheek and left.

Dan shut the door behind him. He still had to finish his article, but he knew no matter how hard he tried, he wouldn't be able to finish his article today. He didn't want to think of the past, of her, or anything related to her. He had been living a content life for the last few months, and she didn't have a right to come back and jumble it up again.

* * *

><p>The evening came by quickly and Dan found himself dressed up for the party. Nate and jenny, along with Eric had come to pick him up for the grand engagement party.<p>

Very soon, all four of them were at the party. Dan had to make many quick hellos and exchange pleasentries with a lot of people, but his eyes were scanning for that one bitchy brunette. At the other end of the room, he spotted Serena, who looked magnificent in a golden gown, which sort of reminded him of the one she wore at cotillion, when she had looked like a blazing star. He also realized that not only him, but almost every other person in the room was mesmerized by the dazzling golden beauty.

As Serena moved forward, from behind her, like a shadow emerged a tiny petite girl, wearing a smile that he recognized instantly. The very sight of her captured him; he couldn't remember a time, when she had looked more beautiful. She looked like a Greek goddess, in her pale off white gown, but seeing her like this, drove a sharp pain through his heart.

As soon as Blair stepped into the spotlight, she knew all eyes were on her, but not because she was dazzling like Serena, because everyone was wondering, why she was back. She scanned the room, but she knew her eyes were looking for the one person that she wanted to see more than anybody else in this moment.

At that very instant, when one of her mother's clients had dragged her to talk to her, she spotted him, across the room, staring back at her. Their eyes met for the briefest moment, before he withdrew his gaze and turned to talk to someone on his left. But she couldn't help staring at him.

* * *

><p>He looked so handsome and he was impeccably dressed. He looked like any upper east sider , but he was still Dan, Dan from Brooklyn. She was seeing him almost after two years and he looked a bit older than the last time she saw him, but he looked so much more attractive now. She didn't want to stop looking at him and every part of her desired him in that very moment.<p>

Blair just wanted to run into his harms and kiss him wildly, tear that suit off his body and give herself to him right there. Just as she was picturising these crazy things in her head, reality hit her.

As there he was with his arms around the golden girl, kissing his girlfriend lovingly right in front of everybody.

Seeing them like this, Blair felt an explosion of pain. She just wanted to run away or even worse claw Serena's eyes out, but she couldn't do any of those things. She had no right to be hurt or mad at this, she wasn't here for this. She was here for her old life. She was here for herself. Not for her. Not for him. But why did it hurt so much? She knew she would see them like this, but she still expected that somewhere he would hold on to her.

She hated being this stupidly presumptuous, but she knew just moments back, Dan's eyes had told her something else. His eyes conveyed that she still affected him. She just had to confirm it. She just wanted to be assured that she still mattered to him, even if only to hate her. She could have him hate her, but not be indifferent to her. But she was ready to wait to find out the truth.

* * *

><p>Dan had noticed Blair looking at him, but he turned away from her just as quickly, because locking eyes with her had shaken him. He wondered even if looking at her for moment had totally unnerved him, how would he deal with her being back.<p>

Just as he was lost in his thought, Jenny came to him and in an almost accusing tone she said, "Dan, did you know, she's back. I mean what is she doing here?"

Dan just looked at jenny and he knew Jenny probably hated no one more than Blair, but he knew it wasn't all because of him. Blair threatened Jenny in a way no one had, and Jenny wasn't ready to part with her queen status now.

Just as Jenny was looking up to Dan for an answer, a very jovial Nate came up behind Jenny, clutching her waist and softly kissing her cheek.

Nate said excitedly looking at Dan, "let's go man…Serena is about to raise a toast to them. Jenny, bdw, Serena was asking for that gift or whatever. "

Jenny suddenly looked flustered and said, "Oh shit, I forgot about that. I have to go help Serena out before calamity strikes."

Dan was glad that Nate had managed to get rid of jenny. Even though Nate loved jenny, he knew there were times she could be overbearing and he was a real good friend to Dan. He knew Dan must have been feeling unsettled seeing Blair back and on top of being interrogated by jenny about it, was the last thing his friend needed right now. So Nate stepped up as a friend, to save his best friend from his (Dan) sister and his girl friend.

Nate looked up at Dan and said, "Hey, man hope you're holding up fine."

Dan looked perplexed, he didn't know, what he was confused about that Nate had gotten this smart or he'd become this transparent, but whatever it was, he was touched with Nate's concern.

Dan smiled at Nate and said, "yeah Nate, iam holding up fine. I mean why wouldn't I be?"

Nate just smiled at Dan because he knew Dan wouldn't admit it. So he just let it go and said, "okay, but man, we should really go upfront because if we miss Serena's toast, we'll never hear the end of it."

Dan let out a small laugh at Nate's impersonation of a mad Serena and they both set forth to the centre stage of the party.

* * *

><p>Two hour later, with the party being in full swing, Dan found himself alone at the bar with a scotch in his hand. Dan had avoided looking at her all night. Somehow he felt, that even after almost two years, he wasn't ready to face her just yet. He didn't understand why she affected him so much even now, they hadn't been together for more than three months, and she hadn't cared about him one single bit, but her sheer presence in a room filled with hundreds of people totally unhinged him even after two years.<p>

Just as he was finishing his last drink of the night, he felt somebody pull up a chair next to him on the bar.

He didn't even have to turn sideways to know it was her.

He just sat there, with his glass in his hand, fighting within himself to say something to her. But he couldn't.

Suddenly she spoke up in a voice that was quiet yet, it had that unmistakable Blair Waldorf spite to it,

"I see Humphrey, 6 years in this world and you're still a social misfit."

Just as those words left her mouth, Dan turned to her and in his signature Humphrey sarcasm said

"I wish I could say it's good to see you Waldorf, but it isn't."

As soon as he finished his words, he took the last swig of his drink and left the bar, leaving her alone, not turning back to look at her once, because he didn't know if he could have survived another moment being so close to her.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Blair had been back in Manhattan for less than two weeks after being away for one and a half years, but the moment she had exited the airport, she knew she was home. New York was the only home she had ever known and no matter how far she ran away, she knew she would return to her home, coz you can never really run away from the place you belong to with your heart and soul.

She was back where she belonged, with her family, with her friends, in her world, in her social hierarchy, where being Blair waldorf meant something.

Blair had left NYC in a midst of mess and fractured relationships and a very broken heart, but she was willing to work on all of those things, so she could claim her life just as she had left it.

The most important piece of fixing all this was Serena, and once Serena was ready to welcome Blair back in her life. She knew everything sooner or later would fix itself.

In the last one and a half years in her life, the only person she had kept in touch with was Chuck. For the first time in her life, Chuck was there for her, but the irony of it was that Chuck was only a friend to her and nothing more. She knew that Chuck fought against all his pain to just be friends with her. It was also Chuck that helped her repair her friendship with Serena, when he got Serena with him on a trip to Paris three months ago to surprise Blair.

Blair knew it hadn't been easy for Serena to forgive Blair, but she had because Serena loved her and wanted her to come back to the city that was theirs. Serena promised Blair that everything would return to normal and everyone would accept her into their lives once more. In that everybody she mentioned Nate, Chuck, Eric, herself and even Jenny…but never the one name Blair wanted to hear.

It's not like Blair expected to have him back in her life, she did but she knew she had burnt all the routes for him to ever love her again. But all she wanted now was him to be a part of her life, in any way possible. She didn't care if he didn't want to be friends with her, but he was part of Serena's life, Nate's life , even Chuck's to an extent, so he would invariably have to squeeze her in his life too, even if just as some girl who broke his heart and now is nothing more than his girl friend's best friend.

She had tried so hard to move on from him in the last year. She had tried every trick in the book. She dated all kinds of guys, for the first time in her life not caring about social status and all. She went out on dates with painters, artists, musicians, even writers but she couldn't drive him away from her mind. It was like he tortured her all the time. She found herself constantly comparing all her dates with him.

In fact the few times she got intimate with the guys, she couldn't take it far, because their touch didn't feel like his. Their touch didn't burn her with desire the way his did. She had never realized that the worst outcome in her being self-sacrificing would be borne by her. But he would never know, she could never let him know that she had missed him every day of her life, because she knew that he had just slipped back into his old pattern with Serena so easily, not even thinking about her. But who could she blame for what had happened.

She had never felt lonelier than she did those years in Paris. Therefore she just devoted all her energy on completing her school and as soon as she graduated she knew she wanted to come back.

Chuck's wedding had been the most opportune event that brought her back to her home once more. Planning Chuck's wedding was going to be bittersweet for Blair, because for a very long time, she thought that it would be her who would be walking up to the aisle to meet him. But life's full of surprises, some sweet and some bitter. But Blair was happy for Chuck, really happy, because he deserved this happiness, he deserved to have a family, to being loved and she knew by just seeing him with Emily that she would give him all that and more.

Blair got out of her bed to head to the shower as she was supposed to meet Serena for lunch and then take Emily to inspect some flower arrangements.

That very minute her phone rang and she heard a distressed Serena on the other hand.

"B, you know what iam stuck with this meeting at work and iam not going to be able to make it for lunch and I might be a little late for the flower thingy, so I just need you to pick up those files from my house and ill meet you there."

"Serena, I don't get what you want me to do. You want me to get those files and wait for you at your house. Why don't you just meet me here?"

"Blair I would, but my house is closer, I can be there faster and I sort of arranged for them to come over to my place. So that's why I need you to be there. Ok?"

"Serena, do you really think it's a good idea for me to wait at your place?" Blair said quietly.

"B, yeah it's fine, you just go and iam going to call you later. Ok. And Blair, don't worry he's not going to be home." Serena said before she hung up.

Blair didn't know if she really wanted to do what Serena had asked her to do. She had a curiosity to see their place, but more than that she was apprehensive to see their domestic bliss. It could have all been hers, if she had stayed and fought on, but maybe not.

Three hours later, Blair found herself outside Serena's apartment. She was nervous and she wished Serena was here, but she was glad that at least she didn't have to face Dan today after the icy moment she had shared with him at Chuck's engagement party.

She took the key that Serena had sent to her to her apartment and unlocked the door.

She stepped in to a small but cozy apartment. The moment she stepped in there was one smell that overpowered all her senses. That was the smell of coffee. She moved about in the living room. It was done up in a chic bohemian way. It reflected the two occupants of the place so beautifully, Blair thought to herself.

Just at the back of the living room, she saw a tiny room which was full of books scattered all over and a laptop on the table. She instantly felt herself being drawn into the room. It was his space; it smelt like him, it felt like him. She could really imagine him in their in the clutter of his books. She went up to his table and picked up the latest Vanity Fair in which certain pages were folded. She had read this article already, in fact, she had never missed reading any of his articles and she felt that he was maturing as a writer over time, his writing was getting better, but there used to be a certain emotion in his writing which she found missing now.

Just as soon as she kept the magazine down, she heard somebody at the door. She was glad that Serena was early. Blair stepped out of the room saying, "Wow S, I can't believe you're early…"

Blair stood frozen in her place as she came face to face with the other occupant of the house. She could tell that he was just as shocked, if not more to see her in his house.

Both Blair and Dan just kept staring at each other and after what seemed like an eternity Blair spoke up, "I am here waiting for Serena, she said she'd meet me here, but she said you wouldn't be home."

Dan looked away from her and opened his refrigerator and took out a bottle of water and said, "Yeah, I just had some things to do...Umm…iam just going to be leaving."

Blair walked up to where he was standing and said, "No, really it's your house, I'll go, ill just let Serena know that I'll meet her later."

Dan instantly said, "You don't have to go Blair. Stay. Anyways I had to get some things. I have to be on my way."

Dan walked past her into his study and came out a minute later with some files and was about to bolt out of the door, when Blair called out to him from behind.

"Dan, how long can we pretend to ignore each other?" in the most sincere voice.

Dan turned back and said, "Yeah, you're right Blair. I guess we can't ignore each other forever, because no matter how much we hate it, we're connected, I mean through our friends, family. Its best we get used to tolerating each other's presence around at least for their sake."

Blair couldn't hold back the excitement she felt that time, because after almost two years, Dan had spoken more than a sentence to her. She smiled at him and said, "I suppose we can try".

Dan nodded at her and quietly left the house.

Blair was happy; she was starting to build her blocks. It was far from her and Dan being friends again, but at least now they would try to be civil to each other while being in the same room. That was more than enough for her right now.

The rest of the day had gone as planned, Serena and Blair met Emily and they discussed the flower arrangements for the wedding. That was one thing off the list.

By the time she came back home, she was exhausted but she knew she had to look fresh the next day as she had to attend lily's party that she was throwing in honor of Chuck and Emily. It wasn't one of her traditional big parties; in fact she had kept the guest list limited to close family friends and family.

Blair wore a Vera Wang electric blue gown to the party. She was nervous being here. Things had changed so much since the last time she was here.

She was glad to see Eric, the one person who knew the truth. He came to her and hugged her and said, "Iam so glad to see you Blair."

Blair said, "Thanks Eric, I guess you're the first one to really say that to me since im back."

Eric could see that Blair's eyes were scanning for someone in the room and he knew who it was. Finally he saw Blair's eyes settle in a corner and he could see from sideways that her eyes were beginning to water. He followed Blair's eyes to the spot where they were fixed and he spotted Serena and Dan wrapped up in each other and kissing shamelessly like some high-school kids.

He knew how heavy that sight was for Blair but he admired her courage as she still smiled when Serena walked up to her and embraced her in a big hug, with a very uncomfortable looking Dan trailing behind her.

It broke Eric's heart to see Blair hurting and for a minute he was mad at both Serena and Dan, but then he knew in this situation it wasn't really anybody's fault.

Just then Lily came up behind them and she enveloped Blair in a tight hug and told her how glad she was to have her back. But right now how she needed Serena and Eric's help for a minute; taking her children away with her.

Blair and Dan were left by themselves and they both looked awkward around each other. Dan somehow felt guilty that Blair had just witnessed him kissing Serena, he knew, he didn't owe her any explanation, but somehow he found himself not being able to look at her straight in the eye.

He finally broke the silence and said, "Do you want to get a drink."

Blair just nodded at him and he walked away to get two glasses of sparkling wine. He handed one to her and in a very hushed voice said, "So how was Paris?"

She could see that he was trying very hard to engage in small talk with her even though he was alarmingly uneasy around her. She smiled and said, "It was fine, but I missed home." I missed you, she added in her head.

They spoke for another ten minutes or so about their graduation, their papers, etc. before Nate Archibald decided to barge in on their conversation.

He said mockingly, "Wow, do I witness bonding here over some boring history of art papers".

Dan and Blair both smiled at Nate and Blair quickly said, "Yes, Nate and I can't believe you managed to graduate with us."

Blair felt happy to be back because here she was with her friends, talking and laughing with no care in the world. It must have been more than half n hour that she was talking to Nate and Dan and she felt so breezy and light.

Jenny spotted Nate and Dan with Blair and this angered her instantly. She didn't want Blair anywhere near her friends; she just couldn't come back and claim everything. All this was hers now and Blair had no place in it anymore. Jenny had to make sure that Blair stays out of her world.

She approached the happy looking trio and kissed Nate on the cheek and then side hugged Dan and then gave a very fake tight hug to Blair, before she said, " If I didn't know better, I would think you guys were best friends with no past."

She knew her comment had stung both Blair and Dan simultaneously and she could see the disapproval in Nate's eyes. Before any of them could come up with some retort, Jenny added, "Blair, you and me haven't had time to catch up at all."

Then she turned to Nate and Dan and said, "If you guys don't mind" and she took Blair away by her hand outside the room.

Blair turned to Jenny with an ice cold look and said, "Jenny Humphrey, what was that?"

Jenny retuned Blair's look and said, "I don't know why you came back Blair, but whatever is the reason, I want you to stay away from me and my family. There is no place in this world for you anymore. Nate, Eric and Serena maybe naïve and they might not be able to see through you but I can. I know exactly who you are and what you're capable of."

Blair was aghast at Jenny's words, how dare a lowly Jenny Humphrey speak to Blair Waldorf like that.

Blair in her icy cold demeanor said, "Little J, you might have been queen while I was gone, but you're still nothing and for your own sake you shouldn't mess with me. I've destroyed you before and I'll do it now with pleasure."

Jenny laughed at Blair's words and said, "Well you might have in the past, but you can't now. I don't really care about you and your threats anymore. All I want is you, to stay away from my brother. You hurt him once before but I won't let it happen again. These people might believe that you might have changed; maybe even Dan believes it, because he just sees the good in people, even in you, but I don't. So if you're planning a new scheme to hurt my brother again. I will destroy you myself Blair. I will."

Blair couldn't let Jenny Humphrey walk away with a triumph, she couldn't.

Blair angrily retorted and said, "Little J, firstly iam back here for me, for my friends and your brother isn't one of them. He like you could never be worthy enough of being my friend. I wouldn't waste a second of my time on someone as meaningless as him. Secondly, you never threaten Blair Waldorf. You cross me one more time and that will be the end of you on this island."

With her sharp words she turned to leave and as soon as she turned, she found herself face to face with the one man; she never wanted to have heard this conversation. Why was God so cruel to her? Why did he again and again play these awful jokes on her?

She looked up at him, to say something. To tell him that she didn't mean a word of what she said, but she was Blair Waldorf and she had to put up a pretense like always. It's who she was. She wanted to scream at him and tell him, that he could always see through her pretense, he always knew when she said something terrible but didn't mean it. So, why couldn't he understand now, why couldn't he see that now? Why couldn't he tell, that she only said it because she loves him so much, it's because she cares so much.

Dan looked at her with hurt and disappointment in his eyes and then turned away from her to go back to the party.

She couldn't let him go like this, just when she was feeling that he was ready to open the doors in his life to her once again. She screamed in her head this wasn't fair.

She caught on his arm and said, "Dan, I didn't mean to…"

He removed her hand from his arm with force and said, "It's not your fault Blair, it never was, it's just that I keep hoping you've changed but you never really can."

With a resigned look he left her standing cold and lonely outside the party, just as he does always, she thought.


	13. Chapter 13

**well, okay, iam actually quite apprehensive about the reactions to this chapter. so iam just going to let you guys judge it. even if you hate it let me know.**

Chapter 13

Dan had avoided Blair most of last week, but because of Serena he was being forced to see her tonight. Dan couldn't understand what plans regarding Chuck's impending wedding could be so important that Serena literally had to beg him to go drop the huge set of folders at her house that very night.

Dan sometimes couldn't really figure out Serena, like in this case. He understood the fact that some urgent meeting had come up at Serena's work and she had to rush all the way to LA for it. But he didn't understand the urgency of dropping the wedding folders at Blair's that particular night. He had tried to reason with her that she could ask Jenny or Nate to drop them off tomorrow or have Dorota pick them up. But Serena refused, saying Blair had to have them now as she needed to go through them for some important presentation tomorrow.

Dan had never really understood the Upper East Side's fascinations with organizing ostentatious weddings, but like the rest of the things, he finally conceded to Serena's demands, even though he didn't like the idea one bit.

Dan carried the folders with him and set out to drop them off at Blair's. He wasn't keen on seeing Blair after their last encounter. He was tired of being dejected and disappointed by her time and time again, but he only had himself to blame for expecting anything better.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later he found himself in her foyer. This was the very place that had set up the prelude to one of the worst chapters in his life. This was the very place where he had kissed her the very first time.<p>

He didn't find Dorota in the house and he realized that Blair was probably up in her bedroom, he was glad for that. He could just leave the folders on the table and leave without really having to see her. But then he remembered how Serena had clearly asked him to hand over the folders to Blair and Blair alone. He couldn't help wonder how these girls could treat some stupid wedding planning folders like some CIA top secret files.

With reluctant steps he climbed up the stairs to her room. He waited for whole five minutes before knocking at her door, realizing that it was already ten at night.

He heard a very soft "come in" and he pushed open the door to find Blair sprawled on her bed in her night clothes, almost ready to go to bed.

He was almost embarrassed on entering her room and seeing her like this. He couldn't help his eyes wandering to her almost see-through nightdress. She looked stunning even without her makeup and bed hair.

She was just as embarrassed if not more to see Dan in her room, but at the same time she was elated to just have him in the same space as her.

Seeing her discomfort and her attempt to grab her night gown and cover herself, Dan shifted his gaze from her and almost turned to leave, forgetting the purpose of why he had come here in the first place.

Suddenly remembering why he was here, he turned back, trying hard not to look at the captivating woman in front of him and blurted out, "Blair, I am sorry, I shouldn't have come up, I mean…Serena just wanted me to drop these folders for you and she asked me to give them to you and you alone. So I just thought, couldn't find Dorota, so…."

Blair just smiled at him because she could see he was nervous and rambling and she said, "It's ok, Humphrey, just leave them here. Thanks for bringing them by."

Dan looked up at her and said, "Yeah, okay…I should be going. It's getting late."

Blair didn't want him to leave just yet, after so long she had an opportunity to talk to him alone, without being around in public and something in her just wanted to hold him back.

She quickly said, "Dan, you can stay a while, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Dan looked confused and asked "What do you want to talk to me about. Last I checked I wasn't even worth a second of your time", in a very spiteful voice.

She looked at him haplessly and said in a remorseful voice, "Dan, Iam sorry about that day. I didn't really mean what I said…I just…"

Before she could say anything further, Dan just held his hand up indicating to her to stop and said in a very angry voice, "Blair, you really should end with this entire pretense now. Iam done with your games, your schemes, whatever you call it. I want nothing to do with you. Iam really done. "

Blair didn't realize how angry Dan's words made her. Each time she tried to build things between them, he just spurned her off without even listening to her.

She added in a bitter voice , "Yeah, I can clearly see how done you really are, because despite your repeated proclamations of how much you hate me, you keep doing these silly errands for Serena like her puppy dog or something, when you don't have any reason to do them, except that you do and you know why…"

Dan cut Blair off rudely and said, "I have no reason to be here except for Serena and I do Blair, I do really hate you." He knew he was trying his best to lie, because he knew she was right, he could easily avoid Serena's errands, but a part of him agreed to them, because deep down he wanted to see her too, though he couldn't reason why.

Blair could see Dan's body tensing and she moved forward towards him and after being barely an inch away from him, she said teasingly, "You really do hate me, don't you?"

Dan didn't know what came upon him at that moment, but he just dropped the folders to the floor and caught her by the waist and pushed her very hard to the wall adjacent to them. He in fact pushed her so hard to the wall, that he thought she might have broken a bone or two. But before he could even understand the intensity of the push, he found her lips on his.

He kissed her back but with so much force that he felt the wall behind her head might crumple. His hands moved around her body animilistically and he kissed her and kept kissing her so hard. He realized that she was putting up an equivalent fight, but something inside of him just wanted to hurt her right now, pay her back in the worst way possible for the amount she had hurt him two years ago.

He pulled her from the wall and pushed her onto the bed and placed himself firmly on top of her. He looked at her face, that exquisite face that he had fallen so hard for, but all he could feel in that moment was bitterness. He kissed her again, only if he could call it kissing, because all that he was doing was, he was hurting her, biting her, so much so that he tore her lower lip till it bled. But she didn't protest, she didn't even let out a sigh, she just lay their quietly under him, watching him hurt her.

He tore her clothes off her and he was biting her neck, her collar bone, and her breasts, only to leave them bruised and sore. He didn't care about the pain the woman underneath him felt. All he really cared about was letting out his frustration, his pain, his anger, his disdain on the woman who had caused it all in the first place. All he wanted right now was her to cry in pain, to shout, to beg him to leave but her body kept responding to his even though he knew he was causing her only pain.

He rid himself off his pants and boxers and inserted himself right into her. She finally let out a loud cry, and he just wanted to hurt her even more now, so he withdrew and inserted himself with even more force again. He kept doing this because he knew this wasn't pleasurable to her, very well knowing this wasn't giving him any pleasure either. But he knew he wasn't doing this to derive any pleasure from this. He was doing this only to hurt her, he was just exacting his revenge. It wasn't anything else.

Just as these thoughts entered his mind, he looked down at her and he could see that silent tears were streaming down her face and she was obviously in great discomfort and pain. Suddenly at that moment he realized, what an animal he had become and what he was doing. He couldn't have felt more ashamed of himself as he did in that moment and he suddenly withdrew himself from her and lifted himself from above her, lying sideways and he pulled a crying Blair into him.

He whispered to her when she clutched him tightly, "Blair, Iam sorry, I don't know what came over me. I don't know…I am really sorry. Blair, Iam. Oh god, I don't know what to do. I feel sick. I just feel so sick right now for doing this…Blair…" with a small tear streaming down his face. He was extremely guilty for doing this to her. How could he, how could he be such an animal to her. He felt disgusted with himself.

Just then Blair looked up to his face and she wiped the lone tear from his face and said very softly to him, "Just hold me close tonight, Dan."

He looked up at her and kissed her forehead and pulled her even closer to him and wrapped his arms around her and said, "Blair, I…"

Before he could utter the words Blair knew he was going to say, she kept her fingers on his mouth, silencing him and she closed her eyes lying in his arms while he watched her drifting off to sleep.

Dan woke up to a ringing phone and as soon as he sat up rubbing his eyes, he realized that he wasn't really in his room or even his own house. Then he remembered the events of last night and quickly looked around the room to find no traces of her. He saw his clothes folded neatly by the bedside and he quickly got dressed.

He hastily went down stairs in the hope of finding her and apologizing to her again, but as soon as he was downstairs, he was greeted by Dorota who told him very curtly that Miss Blair had to leave urgently for some work and she left an hour ago.

Dan let himself out of her penthouse and when he was finally out on the street; all the memories of last night painfully revisited him. He couldn't bear to look at himself right now. He had never done anything that he was this ashamed about. Not even sleeping with Georgina was this bad. This was the worst thing he had ever done. Even though Blair had hurt him and broken him, he couldn't understand how he could allow himself to stoop so low.

Just then his phone rang again and he realized it was Serena calling, but he let the call go to voicemail. He hadn't only hurt Blair but he had cheated on Serena as well and he felt even guiltier because until now cheating on his girlfriend hadn't even crossed his mind. He wondered, what had he really become now, what kind of a man did these kinds of things. He was probably far worse than Chuck Bass in his darkest hours.

His phone rang again and he felt guilty that he was just letting Serena get worried about him by not answering. But right now he was in no shape whatsoever to talk to Serena. But when he looked at his phone, he realized it wasn't Serena but Blair calling him.

He felt nervous answering the phone but he answered anyway.

She greeted him in a gleeful voice, "Humphrey, I am sorry I didn't wake you up before I left, but I had to be somewhere early. Anyways I am only calling to tell you that I expect you to be at the film forum at seven tonight, because they are screening this French movie that I've been dying to see and you're the only friend I have who'd be remotely interested in seeing it."

Dan was stunned by her and he said, "Blair, I…"

She cut him off and said, "Okay I got to go now. Sharp at 7 Humphrey, don't be late" and hung up.

* * *

><p>Dan came back and he took a long hot shower to clear his head of all the things that had happened last night and this morning. Dan couldn't make sense of Blair's call, because he expected her to be angry and mad at him or maybe ignore him completely but she was instead calling him and asking him to meet her at the film forum.<p>

He decided that he would go and see her and maybe apologize for his worst ever instincts to her again.

As he came out of the shower and began dressing, his phone rang again. It was Serena. This was her seventh call from the morning. He couldn't ignore her calls any longer. So with a deep sigh and the deep-set guilt in his heart he answered her call.

"Dan, where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how many times I have called you since last night?" she almost screamed through the phone.

Dan answered in a shaky voice, "Hmm…Iam so sorry…aahhh…I was just busy writing something and didn't really realize that you had called so many times."

Serena's voice had calmed down now but he could guess that she was still a little mad at him, so he quickly added, "I am really sorry for being so careless but you tell me, did u manage to seal that deal".

Serena then seemed to forget all about him not answering the phone and went on describing how successfully she had managed to secure the deal.

Dan was proud of her, he really was but right now his mind wasn't really in the conversation. He had so many other things running through his head. He was barely even registering what she was saying, till he heard her say, "Dan, you know it's really funny, I've barely been away for a day and I am already missing you. I don't know how I'll stay here another four days without seeing you. I wish I didn't have to be here right now. "

Dan quietly said, "Ohh…but its okay Serena, I mean your work's really important and I am really proud of you and honestly it's just four days, iam sure we can both manage."

Serena in her sweet sexy tone said, "Aww, but I miss you, and yes I know it's only four days but I promise I am going to come back quick and make it all up to you in every way imaginable."

All Dan could feel at her words was guilt and more guilt, because here she was thinking about him all day and he hadn't even thought about her for one single second the whole of last night.

Dan was again distracted by Serena telling him how she had to go now, as she had to attend another round of meetings. But before she hung up she asked him very hesitantly, "You do love me, Dan, don't you?"

Dan was taken aback by Serena's question and he answered very haltingly, "Yeah, I do, you know that. Why are you asking me such an absurd question?"

Serena just dismissed the question and said, "No, just generally, anyways I'll call you soon and I love you so much Dan" and with these words she hung up.

* * *

><p>At around 6:45, he found himself outside the film forum, waiting nervously for Blair to show up. He was getting more and more nervous by the minute waiting for her.<p>

Finally ten minutes later Blair showed up dressed impeccably as always.

She met him and greeted him, "Humphrey, good you're on time. Iam glad we won't miss the beginning. Let's go." She began to already walk ahead of him inside.

Dan just stood fixed at his spot and stared at her walking inside, so he caught up to her and said, "Blair, honestly, I didn't really come here for the movie. I just feel that I need to talk to you right now."

They were already inside by then and Blair very quietly said, "But I want to watch the movie and you're watching it with me."

Dan insisted, "No we need to talk now. Please."

She just kept a finger on her lips indicating to him to stop talking and pointed to the screen as they sat in their seats, as the movie had begun.

Dan was fidgety and nervous through the entire movie. He hadn't paid any attention to the movie, because all the time his mind was wrapped up in how strange it was that they were here watching a movie together after more than two years, as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them.

He couldn't wait for the movie to get over so he could actually get to talk to Blair, although he knew she was really enjoying the movie and she'd be quite annoyed with him, when she realizes that he wasn't the least bit interested in the movie; although Dan was sure if he could focus on the movie he would have liked it as well.

As soon as the movie got over, Blair forced Dan to go get dinner together and Dan agreed because maybe he could finally get to talk to her.

As they sat across from each other in an expensive Manhattan restaurant, Blair began talking about the movie.

Dan knew if he didn't change the topic soon enough, they'd never be able to discuss what he wanted to do, because he knew how good Blair was at dodging topics.

So Dan cut her off, an impolite thing to do obviously, but he was running out of patience. He had been trying to talk to her for more than three hours now.

So he said in a low voice, "Blair, you do know that I didn't come here for the movie. You know you're avoiding talking about what I want to talk about."

He quickly added, "Blair, I know what happened last night should have never happened. I don't really know what madness engulfed me last night. I just really want you to know that I am really sorry. I deeply regret whatever happened last night and I expected you to be mad at me, or whatever else; but here you are hanging out with me as if nothing ever happened."

Blair replied instantly, "Coz it didn't. Nothing did. I don't really want to talk about it anyways."

Dan inched closer to the table and looked at her and said, "Blair, just look at me. I really am sorry."

Blair replied in an irritated voice and said, "There's nothing I have to forgive you for Dan. So stop apologizing to me. Honestly the only one you owe any kind of apology in this case is to your girlfriend."

Dan was at a loss of words in those moments, because she probably was right about owing an apology to Serena, but how could he ever tell Serena something like this. She would be devastated.

Blair spoke up again, but this time her voice was gentler, "Dan, I called you today because despite everything that's happened between us. I want us to have a new start now. We used to be friends before all these things. I miss being friends with you. You're the only one who enjoys the same things as me. I miss arguing and debating with you about art, cinema, literature and proving that you're wrong most times." She ended with a small smile on her face.

She began again, "Dan, that's why I want to zip up the past and put it an attic or whatever that is and give each another chance of being friends again. I really want to try to be your friend but I want you to be willing too."

Dan cleared his throat and said, "Blair, I want to, I mean I miss being friends with you too. But you really can't just zip up the past like a dirty laundry bag and throw it away. It's really not that simple."

Blair said, "I know it isn't, but we can try. This is the Upper East Side, where everybody has a complicated past but it doesn't mean you can't move beyond it. I mean just look at the complex knots we have all shared."

Dan smiled at Blair because he knew she was right. Their little group, if he could call it that did share a complex history. Didn't it? I mean his best friend who was now dating his sister had dated and lost his virginity to his girlfriend, who also happened to be his step-sister. Oh, how he didn't want to be reminded of their weird, almost incestuous connections.

Blair smiled back too and said, "I hate to admit but you Dan Humphrey, have invaded all my friends life to such an extent that I am forced to acknowledge you as one of my friends anyhow."

Dan just let out a small laugh, there was something so cute and innocent about Blair even when she was sort of insulting him. He just said smiling, "Ok Waldorf, then I'll see you at six tomorrow at that new art exhibit downtown."

* * *

><p><strong>okay... well for those who are wondering how many chapters this will have. ill probably write maybe 3 or 4 more chapters. there are still some big twists left in the story and the updates will be coming very quickly. i hope you guys are still reading and it'll be really encouraging to hear from you people. <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Ever since Dan and Blair watched that French movie at the film forum, they had met up frequently to go watch movies together, go for book readings, attend art and photography exhibits or even just to meet up for coffee or lunch to talk and discuss their favorite movies and books. Dan even took her along for some of his writer's conventions, because he knew she was the only one who enjoyed that kind of thing; because he remembered once when he had taken Serena, Nate and Jenny for it, they looked so bored and out of place, that he actually regretted bringing them there in the first place.

He loved every minute of his time with Blair. He felt free and relaxed hanging out with her, although they both took utmost care to not discuss their past or even their present. They very seldom even mentioned Serena between them and almost never mentioned Jenny. They still arranged their meetings on a plausible deniability, even though they both knew it was anything but that. They still planned their entry and exit strategies, well in advance, because they still weren't ready to explain to their friends how they were trying to tide over things and build up a new friendship between them.

Dan knew he and Blair weren't doing anything wrong but he still preferred to keep his friendship with Blair a secret. Somehow it was easier to keep it a secret as Serena was getting increasingly busy with her work and classes and the wedding. He could have told Nate about the new developments, but he didn't trust Nate to keep it all to him, and honestly Jenny finding out would be so much worse than Serena. The only person who knew about his budding friendship with Blair was Eric and that too only because they had run into Eric and his new boyfriend at one of the art exhibits last week; and Eric wouldn't tell anyone and he seemed very excited that they were hanging out again.

They remained civil and cordial to each other whenever they met in public. But somehow when they sat together, in the small quaint theatres watching the old classics or inspired foreign movies, they would let their hands meet and get entangled. But they never really went beyond anything but that. Somehow, together in those moments, their world shrunk to just them. Just Dan and Blair and Blair and Dan; but the reality was different, but in those moments they could afford to ignore that reality.

However, in the last two weeks, Dan hadn't really seen much of Blair, as Chuck's wedding was less than a few days away and he knew that Blair was busy taking care of the last minute details. He admired her dedication, even though he knew it couldn't have been easy for her to be organizing his dream wedding. Serena had been busy with planning the wedding too and somehow Dan was glad for it, because he didn't have to see Serena as much, even though they lived together.

In fact Dan could feel his relationship with Serena was developing its cracks. Maybe it was because of the time they spent apart, with her being busy with work and him making excuses to go meet Blair, even when he knew Serena wanted to spend time with him. Of course, there were sometimes he couldn't avoid Serena and had to cancel on Blair. Sometimes he feel it would be a lot more easier, if he just told Serena the truth, because honestly it's not like there was anything happening between him and Blair, but he knew Serena would never take it well.

He wondered was he the only one to blame for the strains developing in his relationship with Serena. Wasn't Serena the one who had asked him to try and be friends with Blair again? Wasn't Serena the one who had brought back Blair in their lives, in his life? Was he really doing something wrong? He was just friends with Blair, they attended some things together, and that's all. It's not like he was having a secret affair or something.

Even though Dan knew he wasn't really doing anything wrong, he knew that there was a reason why he and Blair didn't want to tell anyone about them being friends again and most of all to keep it a secret from Serena. Neither of them wanted to hurt Serena and no matter what they said, she wouldn't believe them. So as long as Serena was oblivious to them hanging out, all of them could be happy doing what they did. But he wondered was it really all that oblivious to Serena, because at times he felt that Serena had some intuitions about something being awry but she didn't question him, so he never bothered to tell her anything either.

* * *

><p>Chuck's wedding day finally arrived; Blair could feel herself jittery and being anxious. Everything had to be perfect today. She had taken so many pains planning this wedding; it had to go down perfectly.<p>

Everything was going just the way Blair had imagined it would. She could see Chuck standing at the altar, looking handsome and completely content and happy, although she had to admit it was kind of amusing to see Chuck Bass slightly nervous. Nate Archibald looking all drape, as the best man, was standing right behind Chuck.

Emily had chosen Serena as the maid-of-honor, as Serena was the one who had actually introduced Chuck and Emily to each other, so in that way both of them owed their being together to Serena. As Serena entered the church in her lilac Dior gown, escorted by Dan Humphrey who wore a matching lilac tie. The moment Serena walked in towards the aisle; arm in arm with Dan, Blair knew everybody was looking at that happy couple.

She could hear two ladies, whispering behind her back, of how they thought how these two looked wonderful together and would probably be next in line to get married, but how it would be a scandalous thing since they were actually related to each other. Blair was both hurt and amused by their words, because even though she had somehow made her peace with them being together, but she couldn't really imagine them getting married. She wouldn't be able to survive that she thought and for God's sake Blair thought, the ladies weren't wrong, they were related! Weren't they, they even shared a half-brother between them. But they loved each other, didn't they. Maybe that's all that mattered, for some people love could be easy, just not her.

Emily looked beautiful as a bride accompanied by her father and the moment Emily entered the room, Blair saw Chuck's face light up, there was almost serene happiness on Chuck's face something she had never seen before. In that moment, Blair knew Chuck loved Emily the way he had never loved before. He had loved her but there was something dark and twisted about their love that destroyed them time and time again. She could see Emily wasn't only his right but great love too. She was really happy for Chuck today, as he deserved this happiness and love.

* * *

><p>The wedding was perfect, Dan thought as he took off his suit jacket and sat on his couch, but it had been a tiring day. He was glad that he was able to leave the after party early, because he had an early morning meeting scheduled with his agent the next day and he desperately needed to catch-up on his sleep. Although he knew Serena wasn't happy with him leaving early but he was just really tired and then he was kind of irritated with people looking at him and Serena as if they were the in-waiting couple or something. That very thought unsettled him; he didn't even want to think of those things right now.<p>

Serena wasn't coming home tonight; she was going to be staying with Lily and Cece at the penthouse. Somehow Dan was glad about that, because he knew that Serena would definitely confront him about his lack of enthusiasm at the party. So he was glad at least he could get a peaceful sleep, without entering into an argument tonight, because of late, it seemed Serena was displeased with almost everything he did.

* * *

><p>Dan woke up the next morning and headed out for his meeting. His meeting ended early, so he thought of treating himself to an early lunch, but he didn't want to eat alone. He initially thought of calling Nate but realized Nate and Jenny had gone away for the weekend. So he ended up calling Blair, even though he was very hopeless that she would show up as she must have stayed up till very late last night, but he hadn't really seen for one whole week now and he kind of missed her.<p>

To his utter surprise, Blair agreed to meet him in half an hour for lunch. She finally arrived and after they finished ordering their food. Dan spoke up and said, "I didn't really get a chance to tell you yesterday, because you were like super-busy, but you looked simply marvelous yesterday."

Blair smiled and said, "Thank you, Humphrey and btw you didn't look half-as-bad as you do. You did manage to clean up your bohemian writer act and look presentable enough to be Serena's escort."

Blair quickly added, "Btw, I saw you leave the party early and I don't think S looked very happy with that."

Dan just looked at her and he was perplexed because he didn't know if anyone would have really noticed him slip out early but then this was Blair Waldorf, even the smallest details didn't go unpassed by her.

He said flatly, "Well, I guess I was kind of tired and I had this important meeting scheduled early morning. Yeah, you're right, I am sure Serena's wasn't too happy but she knows these parties aren't really my thing."

Blair looked away from him, as she realized it was kind of weird discussing his relationship with Serena, even though they were just friends. So she quickly changed the topic and said, "Chuck and Emily looked so happy together. You know I always believed that great loves could never be simple; but maybe the greatest love is the one that engulfs you in an alluring peace and unbound happiness more than all else."

Dan looked at her wondering if she was really talking about Chuck and Emily or about she and how she had never found that kind of love. But her words made him wonder about his life too.

He did love Serena, at least he wanted to believe he did, but it wasn't simple. It was anything but that, things between them had never been easy. Even when they dated during high school, they had trust issues between them, he judged her and she lied to him all the time. Even now, when they had both matured and he didn't judge her and she didn't lie, things still weren't simple or easy for them.

Even when he had been in love with Vanessa, he wasn't even sure if that was love; he had never felt much happiness, let alone peace. He knew he had been happy with Blair, extremely happy for the three months they had spent together. Their time together had been wonderful, it was beautiful, but aftermath of that relationship, even if he could call it that was deplorable. And more importantly she hadn't really loved him in the first place, so maybe it didn't even matter, how he felt.

He knew love had never been easy in his life and maybe it wasn't really supposed to be easy for some people and he was in those unfortunate few.

He was brought back from his thoughts by Blair who said, "Humphrey, where are you lost? Dreaming about your dream wedding?" she said with a bittersweet ring in her voice.

He almost choked at her words and said, "No, I mean no, I was just …hmm…thinking about the fact maybe love isn't easy for some of us. I mean it feels it is, but then you know it isn't, because you don't know how it's really supposed to be. Right?"

Dan probably knew he wasn't making any sense right now and was rambling something completely nonsensical.

He saw Blair look up at him and said, "I am sure it's not that way for you. I mean what more could you want. You're with a woman you worshipped most of your life and you get to live your dream every day of your life. Don't you?"

Dan could sense the anguish in Blair's voice and he said, "Yeah, maybe but sometimes you don't really want all your dreams to come true."

He looked at Blair intently and he knew she was trying to fight something inside her at that very moment. He didn't know what it was between them, but there was something pulling them together that very moment.

He inched closer towards the table and reached for her hand and slowly looking down at their entwined hands said, "Maybe it could have been easy for us." They remained like this, just looking at each other, inching closer and closer, lost in their own infinite space.

Blair felt herself losing control at that moment; she didn't want to jeopardize her life anymore. Life had come back on track for her after long and she couldn't just throw it all away. Dan shouldn't be saying these things to her, because he was with Serena, he loved her, she wanted to believe that. She didn't want to know more, hear more. She had to leave, she had to just go.

Blair broke their moment just about at that time, when he was about to kiss her and jerked his hand away from hers and suddenly stood up saying, "I have to go. Iam sorry." She quickly started walking away from their table.

Dan quickly followed her and grabbed her arm from behind, forcing her to turn and he just looked at her with his deep eyes.

She said without looking up at him, "It didn't Dan, because it wasn't supposed to. There is nothing more to it." With these words she removed his hand from her arm and left, leaving a forlorn Dan behind.

* * *

><p>Dan came home tired and dejected after his lunch with Blair. He didn't know what was wrong with him. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, he knew what he felt was real, and Blair couldn't just keep pretending that she didn't feel anything. Maybe he shouldn't feel anything for Blair, he tried to fight it so hard, but he still did feel things. He knew he was wrong, in feeling this way about her, especially because he was still with Serena, but feelings are never really reasonable. Are they?<p>

Just as he was changing his clothes planning to take an afternoon nap to clear his mind of these feelings, there was a knock on the door.

Dan slowly approached the door, dreading it would be Serena. He just really wasn't in the position to see her right now.

However, he was shocked to see his angry looking sister there.

She pushed him to the side and entered his apartment and she looked more fuming with every passing second to Dan.

He wondered why she was looking so mad right now; maybe it was something to do with Nate. Oh, how he hated being dragged in between their fights, because no matter whose side he took, he always ended up in a soup. So he had made it a point to stay away from their matters most of the times.

He said in a concerned voice, "Jen, what are you doing here? I thought you and Nate were going away for the weekend to see his grandfather. And you look really mad about something. I hope everything's fine between you and Nate."

She almost barked at him and said, "Well, yeah I didn't go with Nate, as something's came up, but I am not here to discuss me and Nate. Iam here for you, to warn you against making the same mistake again. I won't let you."

Dan looked astonished, he couldn't understand what his little sister was talking about and he said very confused, "Whoa…Jenny, firstly you sound like Vanessa and secondly I have no idea what mistake are you talking about."

Jenny looked even more annoyed now and she very bitterly said, "Yeah Dan, right, you know exactly what I am talking about. You may think you have your tracks covered up and maybe you can fool the others but you can never fool me."

Dan said almost amused, "Okay, I give up Jen; you're officially not making any sense to me."

Jenny almost shrieked and said, "Iam talking about you and Blair. You think I don't know, you've been hanging out with Blair almost every day, and all behind Serena's back. Dan, I never thought you'd be that stupid to get yourself involved with that bitch again, even after what had happened the last time and more importantly you'd betray Serena like that."

Dan was taken aback by Jenny's words and he was almost at a complete loss of words for two minutes, before he regained his composure and said, "Well, Jenny, I have been hanging out with Blair, but it's just that. There's nothing more, we've been watching some movies together and attending some exhibits and stuff together but just as friends. There's nothing more, and in no way have I betrayed Serena, I swear."

Jenny said irritatedly, "Yeah right Dan, now you're going to lie to my face, I saw you at lunch today with Blair and you both were just uncomfortably close for being just friends and I almost saw you kiss her. How can you be so stupid? You're going to ruin everything for a woman, who doesn't even think you're anything more than a speck of dust."

She further added, "Dan, you better get your act together and end whatever that is you have with her. Serena doesn't know anything now but it won't be long before she finds out and when she does, it won't end well for either of you. Dan, don't hurt Serena, don't break her heart, because you know how much she loves you, she's done so much for you in the last few years, and you can't be that ungrateful to her. I'll help keep all this away from her but you have to stop seeing Blair."

Dan was by now pretty angry with Jenny too, she really had no right to come and tell him how to live his life and he didn't need anybody else making decisions for him.

So he very bluntly said, "Jenny, Thanks for your concern but I don't think I need your guidance on how to live my life. I honestly don't have to prove anything to you, if you don't want to believe that there's nothing going on between me and Blair, and then have it your way. I know what I am doing and I am not really trying to hurt anyone here. Honestly, I think I am old enough to make my decisions, without being dictated by my little sister."

He was probably ruder to Jenny that he should have been, but he never appreciated people interfering in his life and telling him what to do, even if it was his own sister.

Jenny bellowed back and said, "Fine Dan, have it your way. But this isn't going to end well for you. I just came here to warn you because Iam concerned about you, because if you really think Blair is ever going to care about you, then you have to be delusional; and in that bargain you won't just lose her, you'll end up losing everybody and be left all by yourself."

With these words Jenny quickly ran out of his house.

Dan sat down on the couch holding his head. His day was getting worse by the minute. First was the lunch where Blair ran out on him, leaving him forlorn and confused. And now he had this huge confrontation with his sister. Dan really needed a drink right now as that was the only way he could get some sleep now. He had no energy to think about any of these things today. Tomorrow he'd deal with the mess that his life was becoming. Tonight he needed sleep. Just that.

**hmm...okay..i think maybe ill be writing a bit more than the intended 3 more chapters because if i end it in 3 chapters ill just be giving it an abrupt ending. lemme know what do u guys think. **

**other than this, on the show i really really hope they arent making dan into some sort of gay best friend for blair, becoz thats gonna suck. **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Okay. I should apologize before hand only in the massive delay in updating this fic. I was just caught up in some celebrations in life, like my birthday. Lol. Anyhow, I have tried to compensate by making this one a really long chapter. Though I should warn you, this chapter has a lot a lot of Serena (I used to love derena in season 1 and 2) but those scenes are important to step up the story further.**

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><p>Dan had spent most of his last two weeks away from New York in Hudson, with his mother. He hadn't had much interaction with anybody in those two weeks, other than an occasional text or call, and he didn't care either. The only person he wanted to hear from hadn't replied to any of his texts and he hadn't mustered up enough courage to call her. They had just resumed their friendship and he didn't want to already rub Blair the other way.<p>

He didn't really know how long he was going to stay in Hudson, but right now he was happy being here. It was becoming too much for him to be living with Serena now, especially given the conflicted emotions he had been going through ever since Blair's return. He missed his own space in his own house, it just seemed like every inch of that house belonged to Serena.

He knew Serena had been pretty mad at him for suddenly deciding to take off to Hudson after Chuck's wedding. But he had to get away because he knew if he stayed she'd overload him with questions about his strange behavior at Chuck's reception and how they didn't spend enough time together. Now was not the time to discuss all that because he himself didn't have answers for those questions.

Serena hadn't called him at all in the last two weeks and even when he had called her, she had ignored his calls. He didn't push it any further and let it be, he didn't know where his relationship with Serena was going but he knew he wasn't making it any easier by isolating himself in Hudson. Maybe he owed it to Serena to work harder on their relationship, but he didn't know if he even wanted it anymore.

Just as he was busying himself with some writing and a steaming cup of coffee, he heard somebody on the door. He was a little irritated by the knock on the door, because he knew he'd have to go and answer it as his mother was out for some shopping that morning. So he reluctantly got up and very slowly walked towards the door and opened it.

He was startled to see Serena standing there with what seemed like a very huge handbag next to her. Before he could even wrap his brain around Serena's presence at his mother's house, Serena just threw her arms around his neck and kissed him so very hard, that he almost lost his balance.

Dan broke the kiss quickly and just said, "Serena, what are you doing here? I thought you were mad at me?"

Serena smiled sheepishly and said, "I was, I mean I still am mad at you but I couldn't stay away. I just missed you and I haven't slept in over two weeks since you left, because I just can't sleep without you holding me."

Dan just looked at her and he felt guilty, because here he was , he had hardly been worried about Serena all this time, whereas she had put aside her ego and come here to meet him even though he should have been the one making up for his mistakes.

Before he could say anything, Serena said in a very sincere tone, "Dan, I know things haven't been great between us for a while now. I can see that we're growing apart and we aren't spending enough time together and we've just been having arguments and arguments about small silly things, never really discussing the real issue. But I don't want it to be like this between us, I want to work out our problems because within my heart I know you and I are forever. And that's exactly why iam here to make thing alright between us once again."

Dan could see the love Serena felt for him and he wished he could reciprocate in the same manner, but something was missing, he knew but for her sake he was willing to try too.

He just hugged her and said, "I am sorry Serena and I want it to work too." He didn't even know if he meant what he said anymore.

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><p>Dan and Serena spent their weekend in Hudson with Allison, before returning to New York together. Dan knew if he wanted to work things out between Serena and him, he had to stop thinking about Blair. He had to stop thinking that if Blair and him had a chance together, they would have been great together, because he knew Blair would have never given him the chance, wouldn't give him the chance now.<p>

He had to make himself fall head over heels in love with Serena all over again. It was his only safeguard from thinking about Blair. He just didn't know how.

Although he knew one thing that for Serena's sake he was willing to try earnestly. A week had passed since they had returned from Hudson and things seemed to be moving smoothly.

He had been pushed out of his own home on Saturday morning, because even though Serena had been secretive and made some lame excuse why she needed him to be away, he knew Serena was planning something special for him that day. So he agreed to go out and hang out with his dad that day.

Dan stepped out of his dad's penthouse at 6, because he wanted to pick some flowers for Serena before meeting her at their own home at 8, as instructed by Serena. Just as he was picking up Serena's favorite flowers, hydrangeas, his phone started ringing. He thought it was probably Serena asking him where he was, but he was shocked to see the one calling him.

It was Blair. He hadn't heard from her in almost three weeks now. He was very perplexed why Blair would be calling him now. He hurriedly paid for the flowers and answered his phone as quickly as he could.

He could hear her sobbing on the other end of the line and she uttered a soft whisper of his name.

An instant shiver ran down his spine, as something seemed wrong with Blair as she was sobbing. Dan just had to make sure she was okay, so in a very worried voice he said, "Blair, what's wrong? Where are you?"

She amidst her sobbing said, "Dan, can you come get me?"

Dan said, "Blair, just tell me where you are. I'll come this very minute. Okay. I'll be there Blair, just tell me where you are."

Blair replied on the other end of the line, "I am outside your loft in Brooklyn."

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><p>Dan almost raced to get a cab and he urged the cab driver to drive as fast as he could in the crazy traffic. As soon as he got out of the cab, he ran up the stairs of the building that he had lived in most of his life. But he hadn't stepped foot in this place for over two and a half years now. The last memories he had of the place were of him and Blair and the betrayal and the hurt that it followed.<p>

He pushed these thoughts aside from his mind, as he rushed up the stairs to find Blair sitting all crumpled up just outside the door of his loft in the hallway. He went close to her and sat down next to her and drew her closer to him.

They stayed that like for a very long time before Dan broke their embrace and cupped her face in his hands, turning her towards him and said softly, "Blair, why are you here?"

Blair removed his hands from her face and looked down at the floor and said, "I just wanted to get away. I didn't know where else to go. I know that you don't live here anymore, but I felt I could find peace here, in all those old memories."

Dan stood up and made Blair stand up as well. He took out a key and opened the loft. It was really dusty inside; nobody had been here for a long time, except his dad who came occasionally to get the loft cleaned.

He led Blair inside the loft and lifted the cover over the couch before asking her to sit.

She slowly sat down and he sat down beside her and said, "I can't really offer you anything here to eat, I mean looking at the place." he said with a bit of embarrassment in his voice.

She looked at him and said, "When was the last time you were here?"

He looked stupefied by her question, but he answered anyways, "Well, the last time I was here, was the night of the accident. I haven't come back here since then. Guess, it didn't make sense to come back here to start a new life."

She drew herself closer to him and leaned onto him and lifted his right arm to put it around her and said, "Dan, I am really sorry for the past, for how things turned out."

Dan spoke and said, "Blair, it doesn't matter now. It's just that I can't see you this upset and sad, it really terrifies me. Iam scared that you'll leave again and I don't want to lose you this time."

Blair just looked up at him with the warmest smile on her face and said, "You won't, I won't leave this time because I don't want to lose you either." Blair ended her sentence with a small kiss on his cheek.

Dan suggested at that time that he probably had a small blue-ray player lying somewhere and they could watch their favorite movies from his old movie collection, that he had left behind. He didn't want to tell Blair, that he had left all of his movie collection here, because they reminded him too much of her.

Just as he put Breakfast at Tiffany's on, he realized his phone was ringing. He looked at his phone screen to find Serena calling. He suddenly realized that he was supposed to be with Serena tonight. It was already midnight and Serena had called him seven times already. He knew Serena had been planning the surprise for over a week, but he couldn't leave Blair all alone tonight. She seemed so vulnerable and weak right now, he just couldn't desert her like this.

He didn't know how he would explain this to Serena. He felt really bad and was torn with guilt with what he was doing. He was caught between two women. One was a woman he was supposed to love, who loved him with all her heart, his girlfriend, the one he should be devoted to, but he just couldn't give her the dedication and love she deserved. The other was the woman, who had probably never loved him, had hurt him and betrayed him, hardly acknowledged being his friend, but he felt this undeniable pull towards her each time he saw her, and no matter how hard he tried he hadn't been able to push her away from his thoughts. He was ready to give her everything, but he knew she wouldn't have any of it.

He hated lying to Serena but he knew he didn't have a choice in this situation. He couldn't tell her the truth she would never understand. So he answered her call.

"Dan, where the hell are you. I've been waiting since the last 5 hours for you. I've called you so many times. Where are you?" Serena screamed amidst tears from the phone.

Dan tried to quiet her down, while his mind was raising to find the perfect lie to pacify her and said, "Serena, I know I am so sorry, I know I should have been there with you right now, but I just had to come down to Hudson, my mother called me in the evening, she wasn't well, as in she had a small panic attack, so I just rushed to be with her. I should have called you earlier but I just…" he felt so much guiltier for lying to her.

Serena seemed almost ashamed at herself and she said, "Dan, then, why didn't u temme anything? You know I would have understood. You should have taken me with you. Iam really sorry Dan; I'll come right away if you need me."

Dan just cut her off and said, "Serena, you don't need to. I mean she's a lot better now and I'll be back tomorrow morning and just don't tell my dad or Jen about it, because it would worry them unnecessarily, because now everything's completely fine. Okay."

Serena breathed quietly on the other line and said, "Okay. Just take care of Allison. I won't tell Rufus and Jenny. Just come back quickly to me, Dan, I really love you. Goodnight"

Dan replied, "I will Serena very soon. Take care. Good night." And he hung up.

Dan felt a little relieved after his talk with Serena, at least for now he had been able to tide over the situation, but he knew lying wasn't a solution. He had never really been a liar, but now he found himself lying to Serena all the time. He realized that during his High School, he and Serena had never worked because she just couldn't tell him the truth, he couldn't just trust her. Now he just felt that their roles had reversed and it was complicating them once again.

Just then he heard Blair calling him out from the living room and he went back there and sat down next to her.

She said, "Humphrey, I know you can't offer me anything to eat here, but at least you can order something or is it your plan to starve me to death here."

Dan just laughed at her words and ordered her favorite pizza.

They stayed up all night, watching movies and discussing them and probably dozed off to sleep early morning wrapped up in each other on the couch with a movie still playing in the background.

Dan woke up with a pain in his neck and shoulder and realized that was probably because he had slept in an uncomfortable position with Blair leaning on his chest. He blinked his eyes before rubbing them and he found that his whole living room had been cleaned. He was shocked to see Blair and Dorota on the kitchen counter.

He just stood up to say something, but all he could manage instead was, "What time is it?"

Blair turned to him and replied jovially, "Oh, so you're finally up sleepyhead, well I thought you'd be thanking me for getting this miserable place cleaned up but all you do is ask me for the time."

Before Dan could say something, Blair mischievously said, "It's only one o'clock. You looked so peaceful sleeping so I didn't wake you up. I just called Dorota over with some cleaning service to get this place cleaned up. I didn't know how somebody could sleep so soundly amidst all that noise, but apparently you can sleep through anything. But I guess that's because you live in Brooklyn."

Dan just stared at her, she looked so prim and proper, even though she had spent her last night on a couch in a dirty dusty flat in Brooklyn; he said, "Blair, I don't live here anymore."

Blair looked a little taken aback by him and shot back, "I know you don't and that you live with Serena now in Manhattan, but I just thought, never mind, what I thought, our work here is done Dorota, let's leave."

Dan said, "Blair, I didn't mean that. I mean im really thankful for…"

Blair cut him off again and said, "Whatever Humphrey, I better get going, its more than enough of Brooklyn I can take."

With these words she left with Dorota following close behind her, who before exiting turned to Dan and said, "Mr. Dan, Miss Blair really cares about you. She is peaceful and happy with you. Don't hurt her. She hurt too many times in the past."

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><p>Dan left his loft soon after and an hour later he was in his own house, but somehow it never felt like home to Dan, not the way Brooklyn did at least.<p>

He entered his apartment to find the whole place covered with blown off candles and a crazy amount of food on his dining table. He found his bedroom door shut and he pushed it open to only find a distraught looking Serena still wearing a sheer chiffon dress, (a dress that she had probably been wearing since last night).

Just as Serena saw Dan entering the bedroom, she looked up at him.

Dan was almost baffled looking at Serena. She seemed in such a bad shape. Her makeup had run down her cheeks, her eyes were red and swollen up and her hair was all disheveled. She looked like she had been crying all night.

Dan grew worried at this sight of Serena; he had only seen her this miserable before once, right before his accident. Something about the whole scenario was disturbing Dan very much.

He walked towards and Serena and sat in front of her on the bed and touched her hand and said, "Serena, what happened?"

Before he could say any further, Serena pushed him away with force from her, almost throwing him off the bed and she screamed, "Don't you dare touch me, Dan. How could you do this to me, even after everything? Why. Why Dan?" she was almost crying now.

Dan was just befuddled with the whole situation, though he knew that Serena had all the right to be mad at him, if she knew the truth.

He walked close to her again and kneeled down on the floor beside her and said, "Serena, I am really sorry but…"

Serena cut him off again and said, "Dan, why did you do this to me. Why did you lie to me?"

Dan said, "Serena, I am sorry, I lied about going to Hudson yesterday, but I was just caught up in a situation that you wouldn't have understood and I couldn't have left. I didn't know what else to do, but I am really sorry; I didn't want to hurt you."

Serena just looked up at him with a maddening glare and said, "Blair. I should have known Dan. I know you were with her all night at the loft yesterday. Don't even think about lying to me, because I saw it with my own eyes."

Dan just gaped at her with shock and said, "You, when did you, I mean…"

Serena replied in a very irritated tone and said, "It doesn't matter Dan, when I came, because both of you were too busy cozying up with each other to notice anyone else. It was horrible; it was like it was just your world and hers, with no one else. You have no idea, what I am feeling right now. How could you betray me like this? I don't deserve this."

Dan inched closer to Serena and said, "I am sorry Serena, but that's all there's between me and Blair. We're just friends. We haven't crossed any lines that we shouldn't have. She was really upset last night when I met her and I didn't know how to leave her all alone in that miserable state. But that's all, I know I shouldn't have lied to you, but I haven't really betrayed you Serena. Nothing happened between us last night."

Serena turned to look at him once more, and with a very forlorn expression on her face and in a very somber and defeated tone said, "It's not just about last night Dan, you just haven't been yourself since she came back. You have been lying to me for months now. You think I didn't know any of that. I did. I have known all along, I just didn't want to believe it. I didn't think after two years you'd still have feelings for her but you do, you do and it hurts me so much, Dan, so much."

Dan said, "Serena, it's not so, I don't know how I feel, but I don't want to hurt you. Please look at me Serena, you know I'd never hurt you."

Serena looked away from him and said, "Dan, I do, I do love you and I don't know what exactly is going on between you and Blair. I don't know if you're sleeping with her or you're actually telling me the truth this time. But I know one thing, the one thing that everyone knows, only you don't get it, that Blair can never love you. She never did and she never will. She used you earlier and she uses you now, she toys with you whenever she's bored and you get sucked into her plan right away. I don't know Dan if I should feel angry at you or feel sorry for you."

Dan just looked at Serena blankly; he didn't know what to say. He knew that Blair hadn't loved him, but he refused to believe that Blair toyed with him, just because she was bored. He knew what he had with Blair and he knew whatever that was, wasn't that trivial.

Before he could come up with something to say, Serena once again interrupted his thoughts and said,

"You really do think that she cares about you, don't you? Well, sorry to break it to you but she never did. She doesn't care about you. She didn't in the last two years when she was away. She was only ever with you because she wanted to hurt me. You meant nothing to her Dan, never have and never will. She only came to the hospital then to see how far she had destroyed me, not to see how you were fighting for your life, Dan. She just doesn't care about you. I just don't get it, why you can't understand that and move on with your life."

Dan didn't register any of the words that were coming out from Serena's mouth right now. All that he heard was that Blair had come to the hospital at that time, though he couldn't understand why Eric of all the people in the world had lied to him. But Blair did come, that meant that she did care, that she had indeed loved him. He couldn't believe that everyone had hid this from him, most of all Eric.

Serena looked at a lost in thoughts Dan once again and she said, "I am not going to sit here and wait for you to get your heart broken all over again, so I can pick up the pieces once again. I don't think I want to do this anymore unless you make some decisions Dan. Till then, I don't think you should live here. I'll have your stuff sent over to Brooklyn."

With these words, Serena shut herself in the bathroom and Dan could hear heavy sobbing from inside the bathroom and he stood outside, thinking of something to say.

But all he could say was "I am sorry Serena, I never wanted to hurt you." With these words he left.

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><p>However, he didn't feel any lighter. There were myriad questions that were running through his head right now. He wanted answers, so many of them, from so many people. Most of all he wanted to see her right now, confront her, force her this one time, to tell him the truth, the actual truth. He deserved it. They deserved a chance, one chance at least.<p>

But before that, he had another score to settle. He couldn't fathom why Eric of all the people in the world had lied to him, even though he was the only one who knew everything.

So he called up Eric and as soon as Eric answered his phone with his usual alacrity, Dan said, "Eric, you're one of the closest friends I have in this world, you're the brother I never had, but I don't get why you out of everybody else lied to me, kept the truth from me."

"Okay, Dan you're making no sense. When did I ever lie to you." Eric said caught in a surprise.

Dan replied, "About Blair. I just found out that she did come to see me at the hospital. Why didn't you ever tell me? You knew how much that mattered to me and you lied to me despite everything. Why?"

Eric in a very apologetic tone said, "Dan, I never meant to hurt you or to lie to you but I didn't have a choice because I was bound by a promise that I couldn't break."

Dan said, "Promise. What promise?"

Eric said quietly, "Blair. Blair made me promise her that I would never tell you that she came to see you at the hospital. That she called me every hour to find out how you were doing. That she left because she didn't want to hurt you or cause you any pain any further. That she loved you so much that she just thought that it was best for her to not be a part of your life in any way."

Dan was stunned into silence with Eric's words. He didn't know what to say, what to think or what to do anymore. A woman he thought who had never loved him for one single second had instead loved him so much, that she was willing to sacrifice everything for him.

"Dan, are you there?" Eric said from the other end.

"Eric, thanks, I don't know, I need to go, I'll call you later." Dan said.

Eric said, "Okay. Dan, I am really sorry for what it's worth and Blair's always cared about you, she does even now."

With this Dan hung up the phone and hailed a taxi, he didn't even have enough time to prepare himself for the most important conversation of his life. He could hardly keep a control over his nerves anymore.

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><p><strong>okay. please review and let me know that some of you are still reading the story because iam kind of bored with the story and iam thinking of abandoning it. but if you think i shouldn't, then ill continue writing the story. lemme know what you think. <strong>


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Okay I am not giving up on this story, since I guess that would be quite unfair on my part. I guess I've just been depressed over the lack of **Dair** on GG these days.**

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><p>Blair had been uneasy all day, ever since she got back from Brooklyn, after spending the night with Dan on the old haggard couch in the dusty and filthy loft in Brooklyn.<p>

It was already night, Blair didn't even realize when the whole day had passed. She didn't like how she had left that morning from Dan's loft. Although she knew nothing had really happened, and Dan didn't really do anything wrong; but something about Dan reiterating the fact that he didn't live in Brooklyn anymore and instead lived with Serena in Manhattan had impacted Blair more than it should have. It's not like that she didn't know, that he lived there or that he was still with Serena, but it was the way he stated it.

Just as she was deciding to change into her night clothes and get ready to go to bed, Dorota came into her room and told her, "Miss Blair, Mr. Dan, here to see you, he is waiting downstairs. But I warn you he doesn't look good."

Blair blurted out, "What do you mean by he doesn't look good?"

Dorota made a terrified face and said, "He looked pale, impatient and horrified. He just asked to see you urgently. My mind says all not well with lonely boy."

Blair pushed Dorota aside and said, "I didn't know you cared this much about Mr. Dan, I am sure he's here to apologize for his absurd behavior this morning. You wait here, while I go see why he's so impatient to see me."

Blair descended down the stairs and saw Dan's back and she could make out that he was nervously fidgeting about in her foyer. He looked disheveled, even though he was clean shaven and had just recently gotten a haircut.

She cleared her throat loudly before saying, "Humphrey, So, you've finally come to apologize for your ungrateful behavior this morning."

Dan turned to look at her, and he looked flummoxed at seeing her, but he kept walking towards her, only stopping when he was barely inches away from her.

He said in a very sullen voice, "Why did you do that to me Blair, why did you do that us? How could you do that?"

Blair couldn't understand what he was talking about at all, so she instantly said, "Dan, what in the world are you babbling about. You were always a little incoherent but right now you seem and sound like a retarded person."

It was like; Dan couldn't hear a word that she was saying, because he was still caught up in his own trance of words.

He looked at her again and very gloomily said, "Blair, I know everything now. Stop this now. End this pretense, this drama that's been going on forever. I know you cared about me then, I know you loved me and you left because you assumed that if you stayed in my life, I would never be happy, so you made all the decisions on your own, assuming what's best for me, without even allowing me to have a say in the biggest decision of my life."

Blair turned completely white hearing his words, she never ever imagined that Dan would discover the truth one day; she didn't know how to respond to any of it. For the first time she felt helpless in life, she had no idea what to say or do anymore. She didn't know if she could deny the truth any longer, and she just hadn't loved him, she still did so very much.

She just turned away from Dan, before she broke down in front of him and said, "Dan, I don't know what you're talking about. I…"

Dan didn't even let her finish her words and he turned her towards him, holding her by her elbows and looked into her eyes intently and said, "Blair, I can't take any more lies, I really can't. I've been made to live a lie for the last two years and I just can't do it anymore. I know everything now, that you did come to see me at the hospital, that you spoke to Eric every hour to keep a tab on my recovery and worst of all you made him promise you to never tell me the truth, to keep me in the dark. Then you left, because you decided that was the only way I would be happy, so that I could just hate you and hate you more and more."

As soon as Dan finished his rant, he let go of Blair and sat down on the sofa in front of them, Blair could see his eyes were glistened with tears by now and he was trying very hard to keep a check over his overflowing emotions.

She also sat down quietly next to him on the sofa and touched his cheek to wipe the single tear that had streamed down his cheek and she said, "I am so sorry Dan, I really am, I just did what I thought was the best for you. When I came to see you at the hospital, you looked so terrible, you were so badly hurt and you were in so much pain and suffering and everything was my fault. I had broken your heart and I had caused you all the trouble with Serena and everything. I didn't know what else to do; I couldn't forgive myself for hurting you. The only thing that made sense to me that time was to leave and never come back, because I was scared what my presence could do to you. I couldn't take it; I couldn't see you in any more pain, so I left." She finished with tears in her eyes.

Dan and Blair both remained silent for a long while, before Dan spoke again and said, "You had no right Blair, you didn't, to make all the decisions for us all by yourself. How could you decide on your own, what would make me happy? You had no right, no right whatsoever Blair doing all that."

Blair retorted saying, "What could I do Dan, you weren't even conscious and I thought you hated me anyways, after everything that had happened between us. Your last words to me were that you'd loathe and loathe me till your dying breath. What could I have done, what option did I have but to leave, because everyone blamed me for your condition, everyone wanted me out of your life, I thought that was the best for you so I did leave."

Blair then looked away from him and quickly added, "I wasn't leaving you all alone, Dan, you had everybody, your family, your friends, Serena. Everything you ever wanted and I knew just how much Serena loved you and I knew that only Serena and Serena alone could ever make you happy, because after all you were Dan and Serena, Serena and Dan, you belonged together. I just did what was best for you."

Dan was agitated by Blair's words and he turned towards her and said in a very bitter voice, "So you basically planned on how I should live my life, who, I should be with, because according to you I belonged with Serena, because I shared history with her. You cared about her feelings, you cared about what the others wanted, what they felt, but in all this you didn't once, think about me, what I wanted Blair. You didn't care about the fact that even though Serena might have been in love with me, I was only and only in love with you. The only person who could have made me happy was you. You and you alone."

Blair got up from her seat and said, "How can you accuse me of not caring or thinking about you. Everything I did, I did it for you, for your sake, so that you could live a happy life. You think it didn't hurt me; it didn't hurt me hearing Serena confess her undying love for you, the fear of losing you to her once again. You think it didn't break me pretending to be in love with Chuck so I could drive you away from me, make you hate me. You think it didn't pain me to see you look at me with the most hateful glance and the most hurtful words, when I couldn't have been more in love with you."

Dan was shocked to hear Blair's words and he got up to hold her, but she just pushed him away and wiped her tears before starting again, she said,

"You think it didn't tear me apart to see you in that miserable state in the hospital, where everybody from Serena to Jenny accused me of wanting to see you suffer and die; When everybody looked at me as if I was some sort of horrible witch, who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near you. You think it didn't crush me to leave my home and go away for two years, just so you could get your life back and be happy, so I couldn't cause you any more damage. And do you really think it didn't torture me that in my two years in Paris, I couldn't push you away from my mind for even one single second; that I constantly thought of you, seeking you in every man I met, that in the end I just suffered and pined for you every single day."

Blair was shaking with tears now and Dan came close to her and held her from behind and buried his face in the side of her neck and softly said, "Blair, I am so sorry, I had no idea what you went through."

Blair pushed him away from her once more and turned to him again and in a very vicious voice said,

"You really think that when I came back and I saw you and Serena all over each other like high school kids, it didn't pierce a hole right through my heart. That each time I saw you kiss her, hold her, my heart broke a little, that each time the image of you with her crossed my mind, it didn't shatter me again and again. When I saw your little apartment, your space of domestic bliss with Serena, you think that didn't burn me with jealousy. You think when I saw you walk down the aisle with Serena on your arm at Chuck's wedding, that it didn't agonize me. You really think, all of this has been easy for me, that none of this hurt me; because basically I have struggled each day trying not to love you but I've failed every time. But I did all this for you, everything, I suffered, I writhed with pain every day only hoping that at least you were happy and you accuse me of not thinking about you." She ended almost half-shrieking at him.

Dan held her in his arms once again, though Blair fought him hard, very hard to get away from his grip, even beating at his chest, but not for a single moment, did he loosen his grip around Blair. He just held her tightly and she finally relented, stopped struggling to break away and buried her head in his chest, clutching on to him with full force.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dan broke away from Blair and turned her face upwards towards him and said softly, "I wish none of this happened Blair. I wished you trusted me enough, believed me enough to have allowed me to share your problems. I wish you understood that I would have never chosen Serena over you, because I loved you with everything in me. You were the one I wanted Blair. I have been in love with you since the very first time I kissed you here, in this very place, almost three years ago. And no matter how hard I tried to hate you, to detest you, to forget you, I never could. How all these years I hoped against hope that you felt something for me? How often I wondered, if you ever gave us a chance we could have been great together."

He took a deep breath before he added, "And now I know that I had everything that I thought was never possible. That you did really love, you loved me so much and we could have been together and I wouldn't have had to pretend to be happy in my life, that I could have had you for real. That we could have had a chance, but we didn't because you didn't just trust me enough to love you. You made a decision that took everything away from not only you, but me too, because even though you assumed by leaving, you were giving me everything I wanted, but you didn't, because the only thing I wanted was you. Just, You."

Dan's words startled Blair and she smiled at him coyly before adding, "I am sorry that I let my stupid insecurities come between us, that I never allowed us to have a fair chance."

Dan softly rubbed Blair's shoulder and said, "It wasn't your fault Blair. I guess I should have fought harder for you. I should have tried to see through you, to really see what you were hiding from me. I should have strived; I should have fought harder for us. I shouldn't have given up on you, given up on us so easily. Iam really sorry, that I didn't try harder, Blair."

Blair moved away from Dan and started pacing around the room, before she said, "It's too late, isn't it? I mean your with Serena now and Dan I don't think I can hurt her like this."

Dan moved to where Blair was standing and reached for her hands and said, "I don't know if it's too late or not, but all I know is I don't want to give up on us this time. And about Serena, I don't even know if we are together any more or not. Things didn't end on a good note for us today and I am moving back to Brooklyn."

Blair looked at him intently and she leapt into his arms and said, "I don't know what's in store for us or where we are headed, but I want to explore what we can be. I don't want to rush into things, I don't know whether we should plunge into anything, but I don't want to lose you. I don't care if we just stay friends or more, but I just want to never lose you again."

Dan just kissed Blair's forehead and softly said to her, "We don't have to rush into anything. We'll explore this as it comes but before anything I need to clear some things out."

Blair looked up at him and very quietly said, "Serena?"

Dan replied by nodding his head and said, "Blair, before we venture into our journey together, I need to talk to her. I owe her an explanation for everything. I care about her and I know you do too and neither of us wants to hurt her, so you understand, that I need to see her, maybe try and ease her into accepting things."

Blair replied, "I know you do".

Dan said, "Thanks for understanding, Blair. Okay, then I'll leave now and see you tomorrow".

Blair just didn't want him to leave right now, so she said softly, "Or you could just stay here tonight."

Dan smiled at her and said, "You know I'd love nothing more than that. But this time, I want to get everything right and staying here tonight wouldn't be the right beginning. So I'll leave now and see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

Blair a little upset replied, "You're right, you should leave. I'll see you tomorrow, after you're done talking to Serena. Wont I?"

Dan kissed her once again on the forehead and softly whispered in her ear, "You will Blair, I promise." With those words Dan exited Blair's building, after what was seemingly the most important day of his life as of yet.

* * *

><p>What was to come next, Blair could have never imagined. Blair retired to her room as soon as Dan left, it was already past midnight by then, and she could hardly keep her nerves in check, because tomorrow she and Dan could possibly be venturing on a new chapter in their lives. Blair changed into her night clothes and was just about to tuck herself into bed, when she heard Dorota talking or trying to talk to somebody outside her door.<p>

Blair was a little annoyed with the noise coming from outside her room, so she stepped out of her bed and opened her door to find a hapless Dorota trying to stop a furious looking Serena from entering Blair's room.

On seeing Blair, Dorota shouted, "See Miss Serena, I told you Miss Blair were asleep, you disturb her."

Serena paid no heed to Dorota's words and pushed herself inside the room and started looking around the room, as if trying to find something.

Blair just turned Serena back by her elbow to face her and very irritatingly said, "What the hell Serena, how dare you just barge into my room like this. What in the world is wrong with you?"

Serena's eyes still kept looking around and she very absent-mindedly said, "I am looking for my boyfriend, Iam looking for Dan. I know you've hidden him somewhere, just tell me where the hell is he."

Blair let out a small laugh at Serena's words and she said, "Seriously Serena, you've lost your marbles. You really think I'd be hiding Dan here, in my room. I mean while you're at it, why don't you check under my bed or in my closet or maybe one of my drawers as well."

Serena turned to Blair once again and in a very venomous tone said, "This isn't funny Blair. None of it is. I don't know what vicious game you're playing once again but whatever new scheme this is, I am not going to let it work. You can't, you just can't take my Dan away from me. I won't let you."

Blair was just getting more pissed with Serena by the minute and she said, "This isn't a game to me Serena, and Iam not trying to take anything away from you."

Serena just looked at Blair with a maddening glare before she said, "Blair, you've always wanted everything I've had and all your life you've tried, tried so hard to take it all away from me. You know, I never cared about any of those things, about your whole fascination with trying to take my place, take away my spotlight. All my life, I have given you everything willingly, because I loved you. I just let you have everything that you wanted even if it belonged to me; be it Nate, be it your minions, your Queen B status, everything. I thought you would be satisfied, but you weren't and now you think you can take Dan, but you can't. I won't let you take Dan away from me."

Blair lost her temper at Serena's words and she screamed saying, "Just shut up Serena, shut up, it was you, you were the one who always took everything away from me, Nate, my mum's admiration. You blame me for taking everything away from you; I ended everything with Dan just because I didn't want to hurt you, even though I loved him. Even now I was scared of hurting you, but you know what Serena, I don't care anymore, coz you'll always be the selfish bitch that you are and you'll never realize it. What I have with Dan is real; I love him, and I am not giving up on him for you or for anyone else. Now, just get the hell out of my house."

Serena looked at Blair and laughed and said, "You really are delusional Blair; you think you and Dan can work. It will never be. Dan and you can never last, because you know what, sooner or later Dan will come back to me, because he always does, because we belong together. Nothing can change that, not even you. Dan might think that he's in love with you, but no he just loves the idea of you, he may idolize you but sooner or later he'll realize that you're a poisonous snake and you poison everybody in your life and destroy them and when he does, he'll come back crawling to me; and you'll end up alone. You can have your fun with Dan right now, because I know you like nothing better than my hand me downs, so satisfy yourself as much as you can with Dan right now, because very soon, he'd never want to see you again, because he belongs to me, Blair. He's mine and the sooner you learn this, the better it is for you."

With these words Serena stormed out of Blair's room.

Blair couldn't believe what had just taken place and as soon as Serena left, Blair found herself losing her balance and she sat down on her bed with a shudder. She didn't know how Serena could say all that to her, she didn't know if she could hurt anymore.

Seeing Blair all shaken up, Dorota came quickly by her side and sat beside her, holding her in her arms and said, " Miss Blair, don't be upset, Miss Serena, just angry, She'll be fine after sometime."

Blair just hugged Dorota tightly for a minute and then told her she needed to sleep, so Dorota left after switching off the lights and as soon as Dorota left, Blair opened her bedside drawer and took out her sleeping pills and popped two of them in her mouth, because she knew there was no other way she would get sleep that night.

* * *

><p>Dan didn't go home directly from Blair's to his old loft in Brooklyn. He didn't want to call it a night already. He just wanted to take his mind off from the events of that day. Therefore he headed directly to Nate's place after that, all the while hoping that Jenny wouldn't be there, because the last thing he wanted right now was to see Jenny. He was sure that by now Serena would have definitely called up Jenny and Jenny already must have hatched onto some plan to make his and Blair's life miserable. He didn't want to deal with any of that right now.<p>

Dan was indeed lucky to find Nate all alone at his house, so the best friends ended up drinking together late into the night and watched some old football game on TV. Around 3, Dan decided to finally call it a night and left Nate's to head back to Brooklyn. He still hadn't told Nate about any of the things and that was the beauty of their friendship. Dan knew that Nate had sensed that something was wrong with him, and all he wanted to be take his mind off those things and Nate never brought up the topic that was disturbing Dan, because Nate liked to wait till the time Dan was ready to talk about things.

Dan reached his loft around 4 in the morning, his head was buzzing with the beers he had just consumed and all he wanted to do now, was sleep, because he knew tomorrow would be a very tumultuous day as he had to finally get his closure with Serena.

Dan didn't even want to change his clothes, he just wanted to crash on his bed and he opened the door to his old bedroom, a room where he hadn't slept for more than two years now.

Just as he opened the door, he was shocked to see Serena sitting comfortably on his bed with her legs crossed. He couldn't believe his eyes for a minute, there was no way that she should be here, he thought to himself. Before he could regain his senses and make semblance out of the situation, Serena said,

"Dan, I took the spare key from Rufus because I didn't know where else to find you. I've been waiting for 2 hours for you here. I didn't know where you were, so I just decided that you'd show up here sooner or later and that I should just wait for you here."

Dan still didn't know what to say to Serena, he was still a little drunk and he could feel his head getting heavier. He haltingly asked her, "What are you doing here Serena, you asked me to leave?"

She got up from the bed and moved towards him and said, "I did, because then I was just so angry, I was so mad at you. I just said whatever came to my mind that time, I wasn't even thinking clearly. I didn't mean anything I said, Dan. Iam so sorry, I didn't mean any of that. I've just come here to tell you to come back. Come back to our home, Dan."

Dan moved away from Serena and started walking around the room and finally stood in the corner opposite her and said, "This is my home Serena. This is it."

Serena spoke up very quickly, "Okay, if you don't want to move back, fine; I'll move in here. I don't care where we live, Dan, as long as we're together because I know I love you and I know that you love me too and we belong together, always have and always will."

Dan sullenly said, "Look serena, it isn't that simple anymore. Let's stop pretending that we were working out together, because you know we weren't. We haven't been working out for quite some time now. I think it's time, we accept that this is the end of the road for us and leave it at that."

Serena almost screamed at him saying, "I don't believe what you're saying Dan. We work, we work just fine together, and you're only saying all this because of Blair. Problems started arising between us only after she started recasting her designs on you after she came back. Don't you get it, she's always been jealous of me, and she knows that I have you and she doesn't like it, so she's trying to take you away from me."

Dan was really angry at Serena right now, so in a very irritated tone he told her, "Serena, look, not everything is about you. What I have with Blair or what she feels about me or what I feel about her has nothing to do with you. Okay."

Serena grew more livid with Dan's attempt at defending Blair and she lashed out at him saying, "It has nothing to do with me. Right, Dan? So you mean, if my boyfriend is sleeping with my best friend then it has nothing to do with me. Wow."

Dan just looked down at the floor and said, "Serena, I haven't been sleeping with Blair. In fact, I don't even know what I have with Blair right now. We're still discovering it, I know I have feelings for her, but I don't know where we're headed. But if you think all this is part of some big scheme to hurt you, then I just want to tell you it's not. Serena, I do care for you, I always have and I always will, I never wanted you to get hurt in all this, but denying my feelings isn't going to be fair to any of us, especially to you."

Serena looked up with tears filled in her eyes and said, "So, this is it then, Dan. You leave me, just like that. What about my feelings Dan, what about me? Do I really deserve this for loving you so much? Do I?"

Dan walked up to Serena and said, "You don't Serena. You don't. You deserve someone to love you with the same intensity that you love them with. Iam sorry Serena that I couldn't give you the love, the attention, the devotion you deserve. You deserve so much more than me Serena. I have to let you go, because I can't hold you back from getting all that and more."

Serena looked at him and said, "It's all because of her. Right? It's entirely my fault; I should have never gotten her back. I knew she would do this to me."

Dan just enveloped Serena into a hug because she was sobbing loudly by now and he just said, "It's not Blair, Serena. It's not. It's us. We just weren't right for each other and we've both known that for very long. You deserve someone better than me, Serena you do. You deserve to be not only loved but worshipped as well. You're an amazing woman and it's my loss that I couldn't give you what you deserved."

With this he released Serena from his arms. She wiped her tears from her face and picked up her bag from the bed and started to leave the room.

But before she left the room, she turned once more and said, "I don't care what you think Dan. I know you and I belong together, and I know when you regain your senses and outlive her spell, you'll come back to me, because I want you and only you."

With these words, she hurried out of the loft, never giving Dan a chance to say anything more to her.

* * *

><p>Blair woke up to a nightmare in the morning, which scared her far too much because it almost seemed so real. She dreamt that she was at a party waiting up on the stairs to be escorted by Dan Humphrey, but she keeps waiting and waiting and he never turned up. She finally gives up and enters the party alone, walking down the stairs. When she enters the ballroom, everyone is staring back at her and smirking, taunting and jeering her. She tries to run away but she runs into Serena, who makes fun of her torn dress, and just as she's trying to get away, Dan comes up behind Serena and kisses her right in front of her. This is the moment Blair chose to wake up.<p>

She was relieved to realize this was only a nightmare, but this could as well be the reality. She didn't know if Dan would ever come back to her, or maybe he was too tied up to Serena to really ever leave her. This wasn't about losing to Serena anymore, this was about her. This was about her trust, she had put all her trust in Dan and she prayed that he wouldn't break it. She decided that last time she had ruined everything because she had let her insecurities get between her and Dan, but this time she wasn't going to give up believing in him. She wanted to believe him, that he would come and see her today.

She waited all day for him, getting impatient by the minute. He should have come by the afternoon but he didn't turn up. It was almost dark; she had almost resigned that he wouldn't turn up today. She felt that she had sort of wasted all day today, as she had given Dorota an off, as she wanted to prepare lunch for Dan herself. She had made some of the French food she had learnt to make in Paris and she had made her special pumpkin pie for him. She waited all day for him; she didn't eat anything all day. She kept all the food back in the refrigerator and was ready to go up to her room, before she heard somebody in her living room.

She walked slowly to her living room and there he was standing in his typical plaid shirt and jeans, carrying a bouquet of peonies.

He saw her and his whole face lit up, she looked so beautiful, just splendid in her gorgeous yellow dress and with her hair let down. He just saw her and he said, "Blair, I am sorry for turning up so late…and you look amaz…"

Before he could even finish his words, Blair leapt into his arms and kissed him, kissed him so deeply, with so much meaning and so much love. He kissed her back with equivalent vigor.

They devoured each other's mouths with their tongues, not separating for one moment. They just kept kissing each other again and again, and they only broke the kiss on the verge of choking because of lack of air between them.

Dan lifted Blair up in his arms and started walking up the stairs and said, "I can't believe it's taken me this long to say it, but I love you, I love you so much".

Blair just smiled at him and played with his hair, while still in his arms and teasingly said, "I can't believe I am saying it at all Humphrey, but I do love you too, so very much."

He put Blair down gently on the bed and bent over her on the bed, and he started kissing her once again. She started kissing him back again, entangling her fingers in his curly mop of hair.

He broke their kiss suddenly much to Blair's chagrin, but he kissed her temples softly, followed by her ears and ear lobes, then her neck, trailing all the way to her collar bone, before he came back to kiss her again on the mouth.

Blair moaned under him and she wanted him more and more, all to herself, inside her right now. Her whole body was filled with desire for him. Her whole body was on heat and she couldn't take another minute of separation between them. So she just pulled him down to her and forced him to get rid off his shirt and she began unzipping her dress as well.

Before she could fully unzip her dress, Dan caught her hand and slowly whispered to her, "You have no idea how much I want this right now, but this is us rushing into things and this time I don't want to get anything wrong." He ended his sentence kissing her softly on the lips, before lifting himself from top of her.

He lied down on his side and he pulled an irritated Blair towards him, and she just looked at him and said, "You're such a mood killer Humphrey. Iam hungry anyways. I haven't eaten all day, waiting for you to show up." She said breaking away from him and standing up and zipping her dress up and throwing his shirt at him.

She said, "C'mon Humphrey, Iam hungry and I need you to feed me."

He got up from the bed, put on his shirt and just as she was about to exit the room, he caught hold of her from behind, pressing his body to hers, and he bent down and kissed her right shoulder and whispered to her, "With pleasure waldorf, with all my pleasure."

She turned towards him smiling whole-heartedly and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and said, "Look who's breaking his own rules now."

She just caught hold of his hand and dragged him down the stairs to the kitchen. This was how it was always supposed to be she thought, she knew Dan was everything she wanted, he made her happier, he made her alive, he made every part of her body brim with life. Love was finally easy; it was just Dan and Blair and Blair and Dan. Just their world, she made a resolve that no matter what happened, she would never let this go.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok. Guys. If you want I can just leave the story here and end it. But I had planned to put some more twists and turns in the story. If I continue my original plan for the story, I'll probably have to write 3 to 4 more chapters. Lemme know, though I can assure you of one thing, that I fully intend to make Dan and Blair end up together at the end of this story. <strong>


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